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      03-24-2011, 10:50 AM   #23
MisterSkiMask
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Originally Posted by Sniz View Post
Depends on the women. I'm not married but my girlfriend enjoys my cars and respects my passion for it. She is happy to take trips in it, etc. BUT you have to be smart with your time, if you ignore her.......no one will be happy.

oh, and kids can ride in fast cars as long as your not an idiot driving it. Gf has a 6 year old daughter who loves the 'Red Dragon' and loves the roller coaster feel of a high TQ turbo car. Always screaming "more more more...faster faster faster....again again again."

BUT, again, be smart, dont put any kids in danger.

if you have a brain and find the right girl, you can have your fun as well.

trip to Canaan Valley, WV last year...what amazing roads!
I have made the important part bold, and the real improtant part underlined. All girlfriends love and support what you enjoy, wives do not. As soon as they get a ring the get much more empowered and entitled.

For example, my brother's girlfriend enjoyed boating/water sports and camping, his wife (the same woman) NEVER WENT, NOT ONCE.

As others have said, the REALLY big changes come with kids. I have a 10 month old and I have had a bit of difficulty adjusting to my 'new' life, I am hoping to recaputre a bit more of my 'old' life and there are positive signs.
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      03-24-2011, 10:58 AM   #24
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Oh, back to the original question. You don’t have to quit your shenanigans (if you get one of the good ones, but you will have to scale back noticeably), but your priorities do change, and you won’t let yourself do as many fun/unnecessary things.

For me old habits die hard, after a bit of quiet persuasion I got rid of my roadster (987S) I didn’t drive it much when it was just the two of us and well…. I decided I should have one car instead of the two that I have had my entire single life because we are trying to get a vacation home. I was going to get a Mini Cooper S and drive basically for free, but as I said old habits die hard and I bought an E60 M5 instead….its better than a Mini
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      03-24-2011, 11:02 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by Sniz View Post
Depends on the women. . . . if you have a brain and find the right girl, you can have your fun as well.
It really comes down to this, plus what others here are saying about how you act.

If you marry someone who doesn't respect you, then don't expect her to support your hobby. If you let your hobby consume your life or lead you down a fiscally irresponsible path, don't expect her to support your hobby. On the other hand, if you find a woman that shows she cares about you through her actions (not words), and you do the same to her, communicate with her and show that you are responsible with your hobby, then you should be fine.

The thing you have to be prepared for when you're married (and particularly if you are thinking about kids) is that in order to pursue your hobbies you almost surely will have to make some sacrifices and intelligent financial and tactical decisions. This may mean that you won't be able to replace your car with the latest model (see my sig), but that may be one of the things you have to do to convince the wife to let you buy a dedicated track car.
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      03-24-2011, 11:14 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by MisterSkiMask View Post
I have made the important part bold, and the real improtant part underlined. All girlfriends love and support what you enjoy, wives do not. As soon as they get a ring the get much more empowered and entitled.

For example, my brother's girlfriend enjoyed boating/water sports and camping, his wife (the same woman) NEVER WENT, NOT ONCE.As others have said, the REALLY big changes come with kids. I have a 10 month old and I have had a bit of difficulty adjusting to my 'new' life, I am hoping to recaputre a bit more of my 'old' life and there are positive signs.


That's EXACTLY what I'm afraid of! What difficulties adjusting? Is it "wanting to get those new HRE wheels, but your wife wanted to go on that one trip kind of difficulties?"
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      03-24-2011, 12:08 PM   #27
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That's EXACTLY what I'm afraid of! What difficulties adjusting? Is it "wanting to get those new HRE wheels, but your wife wanted to go on that one trip kind of difficulties?"
No, nothing like that. We both work and have similar goals, so finances have not been an issue for us...well that isn't exactly true, she reduced her hours which was a bit frustrating for me, but if I am honest we both benefit from it and so does our little girl.

My biggest adjustments are just the lack of time to do fun stuff, and the sexual frustration (frequency is reduced dramatically). We used to go wakeboarding, snowboarding, scuba diving, or even just having a bottle of wine in the hot tub. I used to go to the gym, mountain bike, and ride my road bike, take the Porsche to a track day. The recent weather is not helping either, and the first 6 months with a new member of the family are the hardest.

Anyone can fake interest is something for a while, and anyone can grow out of anything. I, for example am no longer interested in dirt camping I did it for a long time and Iím done, I would do an overnight once every two years or something, but not frequently anymore.

The best advice I think I can give is to find someone who is nice. Pay attention to how she deals with a server at a restaurant who screwed up, or a dry cleaner who was late or lost something. Basically how does she treat people when society says that she is allowed to be a bitch, if she is nice or at least decent to those people she will be nice to you when you want those HREs.
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      03-24-2011, 12:12 PM   #28
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Did not end here. Married 21 years. Wife likes modded toys too. Currently have a living room full of mods awaiting my incoming Ford Raptor. Find a gal with the same interests and it's all good. The bad part is splitting the mods funds between vehicles. lol
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      03-24-2011, 12:25 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by MisterSkiMask View Post
No, nothing like that. We both work and have similar goals, so finances have not been an issue for us...well that isn't exactly true, she reduced her hours which was a bit frustrating for me, but if I am honest we both benefit from it and so does our little girl.

My biggest adjustments are just the lack of time to do fun stuff, and the sexual frustration (frequency is reduced dramatically). We used to go wakeboarding, snowboarding, scuba diving, or even just having a bottle of wine in the hot tub. I used to go to the gym, mountain bike, and ride my road bike, take the Porsche to a track day. The recent weather is not helping either, and the first 6 months with a new member of the family are the hardest.

Anyone can fake interest is something for a while, and anyone can grow out of anything. I, for example am no longer interested in dirt camping I did it for a long time and Iím done, I would do an overnight once every two years or something, but not frequently anymore.

The best advice I think I can give is to find someone who is nice. Pay attention to how she deals with a server at a restaurant who screwed up, or a dry cleaner who was late or lost something. Basically how does she treat people when society says that she is allowed to be a bitch, if she is nice or at least decent to those people she will be nice to you when you want those HREs.


This is a good point. I catch your drift. I appreciate your advice and probably won't consider marriage until my early 30's.
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      03-24-2011, 12:28 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Silver-Bolt View Post
Did not end here. Married 21 years. Wife likes modded toys too. Currently have a living room full of mods awaiting my incoming Ford Raptor. Find a gal with the same interests and it's all good. The bad part is splitting the mods funds between vehicles. lol

HAPPILY married years right?! Either way, that's awesome considering the divorce rate is above 50% in the U.S.
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      03-24-2011, 12:31 PM   #31
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Soon you will be wearing crocs and driving a minivan
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      03-24-2011, 12:34 PM   #32
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Soon you will be wearing crocs and driving a minivan
Shivers...
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      03-24-2011, 12:40 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sniz View Post
Depends on the women. I'm not married but my girlfriend enjoys my cars and respects my passion for it. She is happy to take trips in it, etc. BUT you have to be smart with your time, if you ignore her.......no one will be happy.

oh, and kids can ride in fast cars as long as your not an idiot driving it. Gf has a 6 year old daughter who loves the 'Red Dragon' and loves the roller coaster feel of a high TQ turbo car. Always screaming "more more more...faster faster faster....again again again."

BUT, again, be smart, dont put any kids in danger.

if you have a brain and find the right girl, you can have your fun as well.

trip to Canaan Valley, WV last year...what amazing roads!



the little one enjoying a weekend cruise into the Catoctin Mountain area outside Frederick, MD last fall



I hope you took RT 33 back towards Brandywine. Stellar piece of road between Seneca Rock and Brandywine.

BTW my wife let me build a 1100 sq foot garage with a lift on our property, so I found the right one...

Last edited by ENINTY; 03-24-2011 at 12:45 PM.
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      03-24-2011, 12:52 PM   #34
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The 'dark side' is getting married. U have to park your shiny car on the street, the driveway can only accomdate a mini van. Period!!

"Yes, dear!"
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      03-24-2011, 12:58 PM   #35
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Married with a 2 year old and another one on the way. You can definitely keep having fun with your hobbies. If she is really the one for you, she will actually support you in doing what you enjoy, but within reason.
My wife loves that I love my car. She actually encouraged me to get it when I thought something different might be more reasonable for a growing family. She has a Lexus with 3rd row seating so we really dont need another large SUV, so it worked out for me.
When kids enter the mix, your priorities definitely change, but you can still do stuff you like to do. With my previous e90, I had fun putting on some mods. At this point, I would rather spend time with my 2 year old that wants to play swords and fight monsters than go out and fiddle with my car. I want to enjoy my time with him now and when the baby is born, but I still do littel projects now and then. But of course, he gets new clothes, shoes, school supplies, whatever else he needs before I think about anything else for my car. When my little girl comes in June, it will be bows and dressies, and anything else she needs.
Its really about how supportive your wife is, what your situation is, how much you can allocate to spending on your car, and what your priorities are. I will always have a car that I can mod, but my kids are going to grow up fast. I dont want to miss any of it at this point. When my son is older, I will actually get him out in the garage, and we can work on stuff together.
So you dont have to sacrifice everything you like to do just because you get married or start having kids. Good luck bro!
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      03-24-2011, 01:33 PM   #36
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Just make it clear that its your passion and that its something that you love and makes you happy. If she disapproves tell her to go kick rocks.

Last edited by Cyrax91; 03-24-2011 at 01:40 PM.
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      03-24-2011, 01:38 PM   #37
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I have no idea what you are talking about.....my car is stock......
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      03-24-2011, 02:40 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e92addict View Post
HAPPILY married years right?! Either way, that's awesome considering the divorce rate is above 50% in the U.S.
Marriage takes a lot of work from both. It's not easy. If you lose communication your days are numbered. The biggest key to our success is we met while doing something we both enjoyed. Racing! Met at a race track. We both share the love for speed. Cars, bikes, boats, all good. We both also did not desire to have children. That allows us the freedom to travel at will and indulge in our hobbies.
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      03-24-2011, 03:10 PM   #39
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Hmmmm... this may be the reason why some girls say I'm an ass. They can be in the middle of a sentence and a GTR rolls by and my attention is IMMEDIATELY drawn to the car!

...."Oh, uh sorry babe, what we're you saying"?
haha that happens to me all the time

My girl is used to it though.

Marriage however... I am far far from that.... I used to really want to get married... after getting engaged, moving in, and realizing how different everything is... we decided it wasn't meant to be. Give or take I was only 19 (her 23)... but yeah

I'm 22 and I'd like to wait another half decade before I consider marriage....
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      03-24-2011, 03:19 PM   #40
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depends on your spouse... the key is to not lose yourself but be more reasonable when it comes to modding...

I sacrificed my E46 M3 for an E90 335 (4 door, automatic, twin turbo family car!)
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      03-24-2011, 04:15 PM   #41
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It does depend on the other person, but my wife knew I was into cars/mods when we were dating and it never really got in the way. Married for 6 mo. now and convinced her we should get an E90 for her Civic lease exp. We bought it and, while she doesn't get the need to add to it, she does understand that for my Valentine's/bday/xmas etc gifts, it's basically car stuff I want b/c I have pretty much everything else. She buys me that stuff for those occasions, otherwise I'm on my own and she will still occasionally say X mod is pointless or unnecessary.

I think she secretly likes the hobby b/c she gets to drive the car almost as much as me and I know she doesn't mind having the extra power from something like a jb4 in it.
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      03-24-2011, 05:18 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newdadkel View Post
Married with a 2 year old and another one on the way. You can definitely keep having fun with your hobbies. If she is really the one for you, she will actually support you in doing what you enjoy, but within reason.
My wife loves that I love my car. She actually encouraged me to get it when I thought something different might be more reasonable for a growing family. She has a Lexus with 3rd row seating so we really dont need another large SUV, so it worked out for me.
When kids enter the mix, your priorities definitely change, but you can still do stuff you like to do. With my previous e90, I had fun putting on some mods. At this point, I would rather spend time with my 2 year old that wants to play swords and fight monsters than go out and fiddle with my car. I want to enjoy my time with him now and when the baby is born, but I still do littel projects now and then. But of course, he gets new clothes, shoes, school supplies, whatever else he needs before I think about anything else for my car. When my little girl comes in June, it will be bows and dressies, and anything else she needs.
Its really about how supportive your wife is, what your situation is, how much you can allocate to spending on your car, and what your priorities are. I will always have a car that I can mod, but my kids are going to grow up fast. I dont want to miss any of it at this point. When my son is older, I will actually get him out in the garage, and we can work on stuff together.
So you dont have to sacrifice everything you like to do just because you get married or start having kids. Good luck bro!


This is about how I figured it would be, but dude you have a X6M?! Nothing but win there!
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      03-24-2011, 05:58 PM   #43
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Soon you will be wearing crocs and driving a minivan
lol

Much worse than death
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      03-24-2011, 06:54 PM   #44
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^ I like my crocs
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