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      02-18-2010, 09:32 PM   #23
DougLikesBMW
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This is logically the only way it should be done:

If one of the partners wants to keep the baby, then the baby lives and whoever wanted to keep it must raise the baby with no burden on the other partner.
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      02-18-2010, 09:39 PM   #24
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So if DAD wants the kid and MOM doesnt want it. Who has the CHOICE >?

I want the kid she is dead scared to have the kid.
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      02-18-2010, 09:40 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerzeySux View Post
So if DAD wants the kid and MOM doesnt want it. Who has the CHOICE >?

I want the kid she is dead scared to have the kid.
Read my post above. The kid lives. It's not her kid, it's both of yours.
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      02-18-2010, 09:42 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
Read my post above. The kid lives. It's not her kid, it's both of yours.

Thanks exactly what i thought.
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      02-18-2010, 10:48 PM   #27
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Why is she scared exactly? Does she fear child birth? Or just isn't ready to be a mom?

Ultimately, it is her choice. It is her body and she is the one that has to go through child birth. All you can do is inform her of the other options, etc( not in a twisted way in order to get her to do what you want). If you can't support her decision, then it might be time to end the relationship.

Just my honest opinion.
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      02-18-2010, 11:20 PM   #28
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Just keep giving her support & encouragement.

Hopefully she'll understand & accept after some time.

Whatever you do, please don't let her get an abortion.
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      02-19-2010, 01:19 AM   #29
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it is entirely 100% her decision to abort or keep the baby....you have ZERO legal say or grounds in this matter...your smoking weed has no known bearing on your genetic offspring...what she is really saying is that she doesn't want YOUR baby

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Last edited by ideliver; 02-19-2010 at 12:41 PM.
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      02-19-2010, 01:24 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
This is logically the only way it should be done:

If one of the partners wants to keep the baby, then the baby lives and whoever wanted to keep it must raise the baby with no burden on the other partner.
this is not the world that we live in....

If mom wants baby and dad doesn't...mom has baby and dad pays child support for 18 years...

If mom want to abort and dad wants baby...mom gets abortion

If mom doesn't want baby and dad does and mom agrees to deliver baby and give custody to dad...dad gets baby and MOM pays child support for 18 years...

almost universally...the non-custodial parent pays child support
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      02-19-2010, 03:30 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ideliver View Post
this is not the world that we live in....

If mom wants baby and dad doesn't...mom has baby and dad pays child support for 18 years...

If mom want to abort and dad wants baby...mom gets abortion


If mom doesn't want baby and dad does and mom agrees to deliver baby and give custody to dad...dad gets baby and MOM pays child support for 18 years...

almost universally...the non-custodial parent pays child support
This part is dumb...Unless she has some life threatening medical condition that would cause her to die upon childbirth then she should be forced to have the child if the father wanted it.
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      02-19-2010, 07:52 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
This part is dumb...Unless she has some life threatening medical condition that would cause her to die upon childbirth then she should be forced to have the child if the father wanted it.
Then put the womb into the fathers body and have him go through the 9 pregnancy and child birth.....

Don't get me wrong, I don't think abortion is a way of birth control, but it is still 100% the mothers choice. It is her body that is going through the stress of having a kid. All the father can do is to inform her objectively of the other options.

What would you think if someone tried to force you to do something to your body like a vasectomy when you didn't want one?
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      02-19-2010, 10:48 AM   #33
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I don't agree that the dad has to pay child support till he is 18 if he doesn't want it..

the thought of abortion should be well discussed. If the guy isn't ready (financially or other) for the burden (call it a joy, but I won't) of having a child then why should he have to suffer. It is a mistake and the worst thing u can do is bring a child into the care of parents who aren't fond of him and are unable to take care of it.
We have a population problem, why bring in a kid when you have no intention to take care of it the way it deserves? Just so a woman can settle her urge for having a baby?
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      02-19-2010, 12:44 PM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Comet View Post
I don't agree that the dad has to pay child support till he is 18 if he doesn't want it..

the thought of abortion should be well discussed. If the guy isn't ready (financially or other) for the burden (call it a joy, but I won't) of having a child then why should he have to suffer. It is a mistake and the worst thing u can do is bring a child into the care of parents who aren't fond of him and are unable to take care of it.
We have a population problem, why bring in a kid when you have no intention to take care of it the way it deserves? Just so a woman can settle her urge for having a baby?
It is very simple...don't play if you can't pay...this is just the way the world is
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      02-19-2010, 12:46 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW View Post
This part is dumb...Unless she has some life threatening medical condition that would cause her to die upon childbirth then she should be forced to have the child if the father wanted it.
it's the whole "forcing" thing that bothers most people...
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      02-19-2010, 10:48 PM   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by quagmire View Post
What would you think if someone tried to force you to do something to your body like a vasectomy when you didn't want one?
I'll play devil's advocate here...

To start, that's a poor analogy. A vasectomy is intended to permanently prevent reproduction. Pregnancy and birth does not cause a woman to premanently lose any bodily function. So, let's just get back to the situation at hand.

Girl is a 24 year old adult and we can assume she understands how pregnancy occurs. Girl voluntarily has sex with our friendly OP, with whom she has been in an 8 year relationship. Presumably, the girl voluntarily chose not to use birth control (or didn't use it correctly), which is readily available to her, easy to use and a virtual lock to be effective when used properly. As a result, nature takes its course and the girl gets pregnant. So who exactly forced this situation on her?
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      02-19-2010, 11:01 PM   #37
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I having the kid.

Checked with doctor and said baby will be fine and can know if anything is wrong before birth. Now just gotta pray to God.

Thank you all.
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      02-19-2010, 11:03 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyr15 View Post
I'll play devil's advocate here...

To start, that's a poor analogy. A vasectomy is intended to permanently prevent reproduction. Pregnancy and birth does not cause a woman to premanently lose any bodily function. So, let's just get back to the situation at hand.

Girl is a 24 year old adult and we can assume she understands how pregnancy occurs. Girl voluntarily has sex with our friendly OP, with whom she has been in an 8 year relationship. Presumably, the girl voluntarily chose not to use birth control (or didn't use it correctly), which is readily available to her, easy to use and a virtual lock to be effective when used properly. As a result, nature takes its course and the girl gets pregnant. So who exactly forced this situation on her?
The point with my analogy was someone forcing a male to get a vasectomy when he didn't want one.

Like I said in my earlier, post I don't think abortion is a form of birth control. And I didn't say someone forced her situation. But, it is 100% her choice because it is her body that goes through the stress of pregnancy and child birth. The father can leave the woman if he disagrees with her decision and get with another woman to have a kid. As we don't know the full situation( did they use protection or not, etc), I am not going to assume anything. All I stated was it was her choice and how would you feel if someone tried to force you to do something you didn't want to do?
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      02-19-2010, 11:04 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by JerzeySux View Post
I having the kid.

Checked with doctor and said baby will be fine and can know if anything is wrong before birth. Now just gotta pray to God.

Thank you all.


(no more drugs though, ok )
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      02-19-2010, 11:10 PM   #40
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(no more drugs though, ok )
did coke once and E once in my life and never ever again since iw as 16. Hatedrugs! lol
Weed i smoke but will be medical user soon but defitnitley never in the house now.aka Attic out the window
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      02-20-2010, 01:46 AM   #41
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There are a LOT of things you will gladly give up now that you are becoming a father. Show mama the first step and give up the weed. Even when you think you're blowing it out the attic, mama can still get it second-hand. Plus you better start saving the cash now, kids are expensive.
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      02-20-2010, 03:52 AM   #42
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There are a LOT of things you will gladly give up now that you are becoming a father. Show mama the first step and give up the weed. Even when you think you're blowing it out the attic, mama can still get it second-hand. Plus you better start saving the cash now, kids are expensive.
Time to put your kid first.

Everytime I come home and see my little 16 month old girl, I forget everything else in the world.

Amazing feeling, I tell you.
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      02-20-2010, 04:06 AM   #43
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Thanks everyone. I think im bound to quit. Trying at least right now. Gonna keep trying.
Now comes the long 9 month. I cant wait. And financially i had some money saved just for a situation like this. Now just gotta work harder and be happy.!
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      02-20-2010, 01:23 PM   #44
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Go to Atlantic City and get married and then you'll be 100% grown up. Well, after you find a trailer to live in.
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