FORUMS
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| 03-01-2013, 08:45 AM | #67 |
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Lieutenant
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Please not the TED vido i posted on the last page.
I think it may answer all of your questions about continued relationships. Shah ps also look at the comments section of the article. you may be amazed at what you will see. ppss Also this makes you ponder online dating? how do you flirt with a woman who though single and looking has a low view of herself but is armed with the delete key? Dude 1 "Hey Buttercup269 I love that photo of you on the beach riding the horse! Where was that? Looks like fun? Buttercup269....oh shit he thinks i'm pretty and wants to talk to me....omg omg omg omg this makes me feel uncomfortable...delete. Dude 1 “Hey Buttercup269, sup sup girl, that’s a cute looking horse in that photo and the girl on top isn’t too bad either.” Buttercup269……oh shit what a fucking asshole! Omg omg omg fuck him…delete. I really don’t mean to be rude, but this is why my therapist drives a top of the line E class she paid for in cash and owns three homes. One here in NJ, one ski house in Vermont and one on the beach in Florida. Not that we men are any better but at least….well… Last edited by shah269; 03-01-2013 at 08:56 AM. |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:05 AM | #68 |
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Brigadier General
 
Drives: Yes Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CT
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Are you on bath salts?
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The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Bimmerpost.
2010 S4 Current | 2010 BMW 135i GONE | 2008 VW GTI SOLD | 2006 Lotus Exige SOLD |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:15 AM | #69 | |
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Major General
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Quote:
__________________
Gone... ESS VT2-625 | ESS Tune | M24 Oil Cooler | Brembo 380mm BBK | Dinan 4.10 Diff | KW Variant 3 Coilovers | Dinan Camber Plates | Dinan Strut Tower Braces | Dinan X-Pipe | Akrapovic Exhaust | Vorsteiner GTS3 Bumper | Varis System One Diffuser | OEM Performance Spoiler | Stack Gauges | GTS Door Sills | Volk TE37 | Falken Azenis RT615K 275/315 | Pulled Fenders | Turner Stud Kit | OMP ARS Racing Seats New: 991C2S
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| 03-01-2013, 09:26 AM | #70 | |
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Lieutenant Colonel
 
Drives: 2011 E92 M3 Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NC
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Quote:
 This guy was signed up for OK Cupid, and comes here making fun of online dating? 
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'11 Ford F-150 XLT - Supercrew, 4x4, Ecoboost V6, Chrome/Convenience Package, Tow Package  |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:37 AM | #71 | |
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Brigadier General
Drives: Yes Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: CT
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Quote:
__________________
The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Bimmerpost.
2010 S4 Current | 2010 BMW 135i GONE | 2008 VW GTI SOLD | 2006 Lotus Exige SOLD |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:39 AM | #72 | |
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Lieutenant
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Quote:
Due to the insights gained from this article regarding cognitive dissonance caused by the external not matching the internal. Does this mean that the model of online dating is at its core flawed? Such that those women who you as a man find attractive may in fact not be ready willing nor able to accept your heat felt advances and ignore you? And if you took the tact of meeting them where they feel they should be, being slightly offensive, the woman would be offended since she has received dozens of emails of praise….and as such again ignored? Perhaps an effective online dating model / speed dating model would be one where the women hit on the men and the men then responded. For this would force if not imply that the woman has either come to terms with the dissonance of the external and the internal and is open to being praised for her intellect, beauty or presence OR the woman never had this issue in the first place and this is a non issue. But this would mean turning the mating instincts we ourselves have ingrained in our cultural DNA on its head. And I don’t think that would ever really get off the ground for many women in our and the greater society not only have a great fear of rejection but also a fear of objectification. However of the stable and healthy relationships I have seen in my life, a good number were initiated by the girl walking over to the guy rather than the man perusing the woman. This is called a conversation, you discuss ideas of thoughts and points of view? Last edited by shah269; 03-01-2013 at 09:53 AM. |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:44 AM | #73 | |
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Lieutenant Colonel
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Quote:
But I think you misunderstand it, its not to the point of being a jerk. But not wearing your heart on your sleeve and learning to become the object that they are reaching for not vice versa. If you are too nice you'll end up in the friend zone and if you're a complete tool you'll only get club rats. So its learning how to walk in the middle and when to walk away. |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:47 AM | #74 | |
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Lieutenant Colonel
Drives: 2011 E92 M3 Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NC
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Quote:
No one reads your worthless posts...
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'11 Ford F-150 XLT - Supercrew, 4x4, Ecoboost V6, Chrome/Convenience Package, Tow Package Last edited by Templar; 03-05-2013 at 11:48 AM. |
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| 03-01-2013, 09:50 AM | #75 |
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Major General
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I seriously never ever thought about all that meta dating BS... whatever happened to going out, meeting somebody, and going on dates? WTF?! Your problem is that you are over thinking this whole thing. Relax, stop doing online research, stop reading dating articles, and cancel your online dating shit. Man the f@ck up, stop whining, get hammered, and get laid. It is really not that complicated.
__________________
Gone... ESS VT2-625 | ESS Tune | M24 Oil Cooler | Brembo 380mm BBK | Dinan 4.10 Diff | KW Variant 3 Coilovers | Dinan Camber Plates | Dinan Strut Tower Braces | Dinan X-Pipe | Akrapovic Exhaust | Vorsteiner GTS3 Bumper | Varis System One Diffuser | OEM Performance Spoiler | Stack Gauges | GTS Door Sills | Volk TE37 | Falken Azenis RT615K 275/315 | Pulled Fenders | Turner Stud Kit | OMP ARS Racing Seats New: 991C2S
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| 03-01-2013, 09:59 AM | #76 |
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Lieutenant
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Team P,
I'm a manager of an office. I'm in the office at 7am and I’m out at 7pm. I'm 36, all of my friends who are also 36 are either married, married with kids or married and trying to have kids. So I in the past but no longer looked at online dating. As of reading this article I have killed off my account. Though I had a few very good relationships come from it...sadly I no longer have time for this either. As for why "I think about this" honestly I find it quite interesting. Between the engineering education and the business education and psychology and sociology and my love of economics....it's a nice problem to ponder….a thought vacation from the day to day running of my office. Now if you don’t mind I have to go off to another meeting for another 4 hours….to talk about 50 reasons why we can’t do something rather than focusing on the 1 reason why we should do it and obtain a competitive advantage. |
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| 03-01-2013, 10:08 AM | #77 | |
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Major General
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Quote:
__________________
Gone... ESS VT2-625 | ESS Tune | M24 Oil Cooler | Brembo 380mm BBK | Dinan 4.10 Diff | KW Variant 3 Coilovers | Dinan Camber Plates | Dinan Strut Tower Braces | Dinan X-Pipe | Akrapovic Exhaust | Vorsteiner GTS3 Bumper | Varis System One Diffuser | OEM Performance Spoiler | Stack Gauges | GTS Door Sills | Volk TE37 | Falken Azenis RT615K 275/315 | Pulled Fenders | Turner Stud Kit | OMP ARS Racing Seats New: 991C2S
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| 03-01-2013, 10:12 AM | #78 |
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There is No Substitute
Drives: Audi A6, 997 GT3 RS, E90 335i Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mission Viejo, CA
Posts: 677
iTrader: (0)
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Online dating just doesn't seem "fun". It's more like shopping online. Pick what you want, disregard what you don't want. How do you detect chemistry?
It seems like it's tailor fit for anti-social people though who don't want to actually go out and talk to people. Maybe I'm just old fashioned though (completely possible).
__________________
'13 Audi A6
'07 Porsche GT3 RS '08 BMW E90 335i  |
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| 03-01-2013, 10:23 AM | #79 |
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Lieutenant Colonel
Drives: 2011 E92 M3 Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: NC
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It can work as long as not EVERYTHING takes place online. You still need to get your ass out there and see if there is a connection.
I've known a few people who tried it and were successful. I also know a few anti-social people who did everything online, never really met their dates and expected to become exclusive with people based on chat room talks. Not gonna fly.
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'11 Ford F-150 XLT - Supercrew, 4x4, Ecoboost V6, Chrome/Convenience Package, Tow Package |
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| 03-01-2013, 10:33 AM | #81 | |
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~~Bimmer Thriller~~
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Quote:
The game changes after you are in a relationship like the one you're talking about. To get in that kind of relationship with a girl you like the hard part and to achieve that you gotta engage the girl to come back to you. Once you gain her confidence and trust, you can be slowly reveal the true YOU. Simple as it is. Trust me, women tend to overlook a lot of things and that includes a good guy with a great attitude. If she likes, she'll stay else find someone else. The time spent is not waste IMO.
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F30 - 328i Imperial Blue/Beige Leather | Cosmetic mods
E90 - SOLD  |
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| 03-01-2013, 10:53 AM | #82 |
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Major General
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I'll just leave this here....
__________________
Gone... ESS VT2-625 | ESS Tune | M24 Oil Cooler | Brembo 380mm BBK | Dinan 4.10 Diff | KW Variant 3 Coilovers | Dinan Camber Plates | Dinan Strut Tower Braces | Dinan X-Pipe | Akrapovic Exhaust | Vorsteiner GTS3 Bumper | Varis System One Diffuser | OEM Performance Spoiler | Stack Gauges | GTS Door Sills | Volk TE37 | Falken Azenis RT615K 275/315 | Pulled Fenders | Turner Stud Kit | OMP ARS Racing Seats New: 991C2S
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| 03-01-2013, 11:51 AM | #83 | |
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Drone Expert
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Quote:
__________________
Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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| 03-01-2013, 01:25 PM | #84 |
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Major
 
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Jericho: you know your stuff
Greenkirby: nobody said to treat women like crap unless you're after bar sluts. Shah: Yeah- not all women online will be interested even if you'd be a great match. If she has low self-esteem, that's her burden. Don't worry about things you can't control; women are plentiful. I've had much better luck (so far) with online dating than women I meet out and about. Online you can actually know something about her first (values, interests, background). Out and about all you know is you're at the same location at the same time. I have one notable exception with a woman I REALLY connected with who I met at a bar. She's substantially younger, I wouldn't normally consider her my type, and she approached ME! I later joined an online dating site she belonged to only to discover she was my highest match in the entire region. This online stuff works. That said, if I'm interested in someone online I try to grab a drink or something with as little online chit-chat as possible. This isn't about playing games, guys. It's about a state of mind. If you're faking it you'll be transparent to any girl worth keeping. Wait 20-30 minutes before replying to a text? Hell no. I reply when I feel like replying. Sometimes that's immediately, sometimes that's tomorrow. If you want to see her or like what she said, reply right away. Otherwise she might make other plans. It helps when you're straight forward in saying you're seeing more than woman. That way you're less needy for the affection of any one, and when you don't reply they have a good idea of why not. You can't get much less needy than that :P To me it's not just about looking to score, either. That's easy, and if it's your main priority you'll come off as shallow and needy. I really am looking for someone I connect with. I only date smart women I have respect for, and I tend to be very open and affectionate with them when we're alone. More than one has said they learned a lot about emotional intimacy from me. No games, no BS, but I put my own priorities first. Last edited by carve; 03-01-2013 at 01:53 PM. |
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| 03-01-2013, 02:15 PM | #85 |
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First Lieutenant
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The Sixteen Commandments of Poon
I. Never say ‘I Love You’ first Women want to feel like they have to overcome obstacles to win a man’s heart. They crave the challenge of capturing the interest of a man who has other women competing for his attention, and eventually prevailing over his grudging reluctance to award his committed exclusivity. The man who gives his emotional world away too easily robs women of the satisfaction of earning his love. Though you may be in love with her, don’t say it before she has said it. Show compassionate restraint for her need to struggle toward yin fulfillment. Inspire her to take the leap for you, and she’ll return the favor a thousandfold. II. Make her jealous Flirt with other women in front of her. Do not dissuade other women from flirting with you. Women will never admit this but jealousy excites them. The thought of you turning on another woman will arouse her sexually. No girl wants a man that no other woman wants. The partner who harnesses the gale storm of jealousy controls the direction of the relationship. III. You shall make your mission, not your woman, your priority Forget all those romantic cliches of the leading man proclaiming his undying love for the woman who completes him. Despite whatever protestations to the contrary, women do not want to be “The One” or the center of a man’s existence. They in fact want to subordinate themselves to a worthy man’s life purpose, to help him achieve that purpose with their feminine support, and to follow the path he lays out. You must respect a woman’s integrity and not lie to her that she is “your everything”. She is not your everything, and if she is, she will soon not be anymore. IV. Don’t play by her rules If you allow a woman to make the rules she will resent you with a seething contempt even a rapist cannot inspire. The strongest woman and the most strident feminist wants to be led by, and to submit to, a more powerful man. Polarity is the core of a healthy loving relationship. She does not want the prerogative to walk all over you with her capricious demands and mercurial moods. Her emotions are a hurricane, her soul a saboteur. Think of yourself as a bulwark against her tempest. When she grasps for a pillar to steady herself against the whipping winds or yearns for an authority figure to foil her worst instincts, it is you who has to be there… strong, solid, unshakeable and immovable. V. Adhere to the golden ratio Give your woman 2/3 of everything she gives you. For every three calls or texts, give her two back. Three declarations of love earn two in return. Three gifts; two nights out. Give her two displays of affection and stop until she has answered with three more. When she speaks, you reply with fewer words. When she emotes, you emote less. The idea behind the golden ratio is twofold — it establishes your greater value by making her chase you, and it demonstrates that you have the self-restraint to avoid getting swept up in her personal dramas. Refraining from reciprocating everything she does for you in equal measure instills in her the proper attitude of belief in your higher status. In her deepest loins it is what she truly wants. VI. Keep her guessing True to their inscrutable natures, women ask questions they don’t really want direct answers to. Woe be the man who plays it straight — his fate is the suffering of the beta. Evade, tease, obfuscate. She thrives when she has to imagine what you’re thinking about her, and withers when she knows exactly how you feel. A woman may want financial and family security, but she does not want passion security. In the same manner, when she has displeased you, punish swiftly, but when she has done you right, reward slowly. Reward her good behavior intermittently and unpredictably and she will never tire of working hard to please you. VII. Always keep two in the kitty Never allow yourself to be a “kept man”. A man with options is a man without need. It builds confidence and encourages boldness with women if there is another woman, a safety net, to catch you in case you slip and risk a breakup, divorce, or a lost prospect, leading to loneliness and a grinding dry spell. A woman knows once she has slept with a man she has abdicated a measure of her power; when she has fallen in love with him she has surrendered nearly all of it. But love is ephemeral and with time she may rediscover her power and threaten to leave you. It is her final trump card. Withdrawing all her love and all her body in an instant will rend your soul if you are faced with contemplating the empty abyss alone. Knowing there is another you can turn to for affection will fortify your will and satisfy your manhood. VIII. Say you’re sorry only when absolutely necessary Do not say you’re sorry for every wrong thing you do. It is a posture of submission that no man should reflexively adopt, no matter how alpha he is. Apologizing increases the demand for more apologies. She will come to expect your contrition, like a cat expects its meal at a set time each day. And then your value will lower in her eyes. Instead, if you have done something wrong, you should acknowledge your guilt in a glancing way without resorting to the actual words “I’m sorry.” Pull the Bill Clinton maneuver and say “Mistakes were made” or tell her you “feel bad” about what you did. You are granted two freebie “I’m sorry”s for the life of your relationship; use them wisely. IX. Connect with her emotions Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendevous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way. X. Ignore her beauty The man who trains his mind to subdue the reward centers of his brain when reflecting upon a beautiful female face will magically transform his interactions with women. His apprehension and self-consciousness will melt away, paving the path for more honest and self-possessed interactions with the objects of his desire. This is one reason why the greatest lotharios drown in more love than they can handle — through positive experiences with so many beautiful women they lose their awe of beauty and, in turn, their powerlessness under its spell. It will help you acquire the right frame of mind to stop using the words hot, cute, gorgeous, or beautiful to describe girls who turn you on. Instead, say to yourself “she’s interesting” or “she might be worth getting to know”. Never compliment a girl on her looks, especially not a girl you aren’t fucking. Turn off that part of your brain that wants to put them on pedestals. Further advanced training to reach this state of unawed Zen transcendence is to sleep with many MANY attractive women (try to avoid sleeping with a lot of ugly women if you don’t want to regress). Soon, a Jedi lover you will be. XI. Be irrationally self-confident No matter what your station in life, stride through the world without apology or excuse. It does not matter if objectively you are not the best man a woman can get; what matters is that you think and act like you are. Women have a dog’s instinct for uncovering weakness in men; don’t make it easy for them. Self-confidence, warranted or not, triggers submissive emotional responses in women. Irrational self-confidence will get you more pussy than rational defeatism. XII. Maximize your strengths, minimize your weaknesses In the betterment of ourselves as men we attract women into our orbit. To accomplish this gravitational pull as painlessly and efficiently as possible, you must identify your natural talents and shortcomings and parcel your efforts accordingly. If you are a gifted jokester, don’t waste time and energy trying to raise your status in philosophical debate. If you write well but dance poorly, don’t kill yourself trying to expand your manly influence on the dancefloor. Your goal should be to attract women effortlessly, so play to your strengths no matter what they are; there is a groupie for every male endeavor. Except World of Warcraft. XIII. Err on the side of too much boldness, rather than too little Touching a woman inappropriately on the first date will get you further with her than not touching her at all. Don’t let a woman’s faux indignation at your boldness sway you; they secretly love it when a man aggressively pursues what he wants and makes his sexual intentions known. You don’t have to be an asshole, but if you have no choice, being an inconsiderate asshole beats being a polite beta, every time. XIV. Fuck her good Fuck her like it’s your last fuck. And hers. Fuck her so good, so hard, so wantonly, so profligately that she is left a quivering, sparking mass of shaking flesh and sex fluids. Drain her of everything, then drain her some more. Kiss her all over, make love to her all night, and hold her close in the morning. Own her body, own her gratitude, own her love. If you don’t know how, learn to give her squirting orgasms. XV. Maintain your state control You are an oak tree. You will not be manipulated by crying, yelling, lying, head games, sexual withdrawal, jealousy ploys, pity plays, shit tests, hot/cold/hot/cold, disappearing acts, or guilt trips. She will rain and thunder all around you and you will shelter her until her storm passes. She will not drag you into her chaos or uproot you. When you have mastery over yourself, you will have mastery over her. XVI. Never be afraid to lose her You must not fear. Fear is the love-killer. Fear is the ego-triumph that brings abject loneliness. You will face your fear. You will permit it to pass over and through you. And when your ego-fear is gone you will turn and face your lover, and only your heart will remain. You will walk away from her when she has violated your integrity, and you will let her walk when her heart is closed to you. She who can destroy you, controls you. Don’t give her that power over yourself. Love yourself before you love her. *** The closer you follow the letter of these commandments, the easier you will find and keep real, true unconditional love and happiness in your life. Best, Your Lord and King
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2008 135i JB: Stage I Performance Tune, Performance Spoiler, Performance Exhaust, Performance Suspension, Breyton GTS-R wheels, CSR Eyelids.
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| 03-01-2013, 03:22 PM | #87 |
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Major
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That was fantastic- who wrote that?
When I first found myself single I broke every one of those comandments- once with an absolute dream-girl. I didn't know such a combo of smart, adventurous and sexy was possible. Needless to say, I completely blew it. I told myself that wouldn't happen again if I ever met another like her. I've learned a lot about women and myself and things are SO much better now. There are definitely a few areas in there I still need to work on. However, some of those, such as having backup girls, are less practical in a marriage or monogomous relationship, but echos what I said about how it makes you a lot less needy and makes her compete for your affection. Last edited by carve; 03-01-2013 at 03:30 PM. |
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| 03-01-2013, 03:25 PM | #88 |
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useless message poster
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i'm actually glad most of the girls i was interested in didn't take me seriously. in another life i'd easily be married with 3 kids already... and not doing any of this
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