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      01-09-2013, 03:46 AM   #221
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11 pages read. All I can say is thanks for all the info and I feel you bro OP.
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      01-09-2013, 08:43 AM   #222
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Take her on a snorkel vacation to Aruba!
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      01-09-2013, 09:00 AM   #223
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Geez, after reading this thread I don't think I ever want to get married.
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      01-09-2013, 09:34 AM   #224
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Thanks for your supportive comments guys.

It was really tough to swallow at the beginning. I was having nightmares about her taking vacations with her boyfriend at some fancy resort with my hard earned money. I was even thinking about leaving the country if it wasn’t for my daughter.

But there was a turning point on how I feel about this whole situation about 2 months ago. One day I was at the gym after another negotiation session and feeling very depressed as it became more clear that I was going to be in this s*** for long long time. I had no energy to exercise. I sat on the floor looking at the floor. Then I saw a quarter. I got the quarter and started flipping it. Then I noticed the writing on the quarter : “Live free or die”. This made me realize that some people gave up their life for freedom. And I have to do give up some of my hard earned money to get my freedom. I realized that mine is nothing compared to what others did to be free. From that day on I have been telling myself that this is the cost of my freedom and it is well worth it!

No matter what I do I cannot change the outcome but I can change the way I feel. This helped me a lot.

Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me happy. I also do my best to be the best father to my daughter.

You live and you learn…
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      01-09-2013, 09:58 AM   #225
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...Then I saw a quarter. I got the quarter and started flipping it. Then I noticed the writing on the quarter : “Live free or die”. This made me realize that some people gave up their life for freedom. And I have to do give up some of my hard earned money to get my freedom. I realized that mine is nothing compared to what others did to be free. From that day on I have been telling myself that this is the cost of my freedom and it is well worth it!

No matter what I do I cannot change the outcome but I can change the way I feel. This helped me a lot.

Now I have a beautiful girlfriend who makes me happy. I also do my best to be the best father to my daughter.

You live and you learn…
Great outlook. Best of luck in your freedom
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      01-09-2013, 10:12 AM   #226
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I've been happily married for 11 years with my wife. I would never do anything on my part to ruin my marriage. I'm like the perfect husband. I will also follow our marriage rules "till death do us apart" if you know what I mean. I make that very clear to her.
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      01-09-2013, 10:27 AM   #227
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Holy shit. She just won the lottery.

She gets to sit back and not do a damn thing for 3400 a month PLUS receive 700 dollars for child support until she graduates COLLEGE? The 3400 is absolutely ridiculous and I really don't understand why you'd have to pay CHILD SUPPORT to her the whole time she's in college. She's an adult - you shouldn't have to pay the moment she turns 18.

Rough.

I've heard of alimony payments like this even though the soon-to-be-ex-wife is working a full time job making over $60k a year. It just doesn't make sense but eh, neither does the judicial system..
Very rough indeed!
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      01-09-2013, 10:29 AM   #228
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Take her on a snorkel vacation to Aruba!
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      01-09-2013, 11:46 AM   #229
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Bro,
I am very sorry to read all of this...to many good men take hits like this all the time.
The way the court system is set up is very similar to the Life Time Networks motto...it's always the mans fault! I have no idea how or when this shit happened but that is about how things seem to work. That is why I'm never having kids and if i do get married again I will have the girl sign a prenup stating "You aint getting fucking shit!"

And here is the problem.
1) If you try to defend your position no matter how bad or crazy the woman was society is going to blame you. And here is where you will find who your true bros are. If they make fun of you or in any way look down on you…they are not true bros and should not be spoken to. And expect a good 50% of the female population to blame you for what went wrong. A woman can cheat on a man steal his money and shoot him and in their minds…it’s the mans fault!

I went to one and only one marriage counselor meeting with my x wife before the divorce, of the 1 hour dedicated to the session the counselor spent 50min grilling me about thing I did wrong…after determining I did nothing wrong be it washing the dishes to paying for her education…she turned to my x wife and said “So why are you angry?” in a nice sweet voice?

Same with my parents when I said we were getting a divorce! 4 hours of me getting grilled…and these are my parents!

2) The bitch has friends who do nothing but pour poison into her ear, note the 50% of women who have already blamed you. And they will just feed her inner cunt just to make things harder for you regardless of what you do!

Look I’m not a misogynist but…been there done that seen too many good men go down. Hell seen some take their own lives! And FUCK! I was almost there myself! I mean really no joke! There I was on a skydive looking at the ground thinking…well the bitch used me abused me cheated on me left me with a condo that has $80k of negative equity in the middle of old lady land….maybe I should just go in.

That shit right there is fucked up! Ending your life, the life you have worked so hard for, the life you have made because she decided she didn’t want to talk or to communicate? Fucked up right?

So my deepest condolences to you and your great kids. My advice, find a therapist to talk to because talking to the general public….is going to just piss you off that much more. And make sure who ever you date is smarter, thinner and more fun in the sack than that sack of shit you dropped off!
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      01-09-2013, 01:36 PM   #230
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$3400 a month, that is depressing! You must be making a really good salary for her to be awarded that. If you are going into a marriage and your the one going in with the assets, I don't care if she is a victoria secret model, you have to get a prenup signed. That person you think loves you can change her mind like the direction of the wind changes and take everything you worked hard for. Your signing a contract when you get married so sign a separate contract going in. There is no way im getting married without a prenup. Now the hard part of course is introducing it to your partner, its very stressful, and usually you only get one shot at it. If she hesitates at first you can forget about her signing it!!
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      01-09-2013, 02:00 PM   #231
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Once again thanks for your support guys.

You should be aware of the fact that even prenup can NOT protect you 100%. The length of alimony is based on length of your marriage. The amount of alimony is based on the income difference between you and your partner. These can not be prevented by prenup. Again the state laws varies tremendously so I can not comment for each state.Just make sure to talk to not just one but a few good lawyers before you get married, or if you feel that your marriage is not going to last much longer. Keep in mind that over 50% of marriages end up with divorce...
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      01-09-2013, 02:02 PM   #232
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$3400 a month, that is depressing! You must be making a really good salary for her to be awarded that. If you are going into a marriage and your the one going in with the assets, I don't care if she is a victoria secret model, you have to get a prenup signed. That person you think loves you can change her mind like the direction of the wind changes and take everything you worked hard for. Your signing a contract when you get married so sign a separate contract going in. There is no way im getting married without a prenup. Now the hard part of course is introducing it to your partner, its very stressful, and usually you only get one shot at it. If she hesitates at first you can forget about her signing it!!
Believe or not $3400 is not that much in most cases. If you make $150K a year and your wife doesn't work, this is more or less what you pay
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      01-09-2013, 02:25 PM   #233
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Welp, reading this just made me return an engagement ring. F that.
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      01-09-2013, 02:37 PM   #234
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Welp, reading this just made me return an engagement ring. F that.
Don't be like that bro! It's not all bad!
Look I broke the shit out of my shinbone while on my 8th jump!
And a year later, i was smarter and bionic and well I got back in the air!

You can't live your life scared!

You can however live your life smart.
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      01-09-2013, 02:44 PM   #235
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You can however, OP, put no alimony in a pre-nup. The only thing you can't put in pre-nup is anything that has to do with children. That always is settled by a court.
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      01-09-2013, 02:48 PM   #236
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http://www.prenuptialagreements.org/what-is-in-prenup/

you can if you so wish state that the girll will shave her legs and stay in shape and be no larger than a standard size 8 or you will kick her ass to the street...NO JOKE YOU CAN INCLUDE THAT!
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      01-09-2013, 03:47 PM   #237
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Thank the stars that our courts and judges north of the 49 are a little more on the sane side. Although I have seen some BRUTAL divorces. Like I mentioned in the mail order bride thread.. co worker lost his house, 3 series and about 20k in lawyer fees.. for being common law!

Gentlemen.. PROTECT YOURSELVES!

I still think the best comment ever was from Ari Gold.. 'I'd kill my wife before I'd divorce her'
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      01-09-2013, 05:07 PM   #238
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Thank the stars that our courts and judges north of the 49 are a little more on the sane side. Although I have seen some BRUTAL divorces. Like I mentioned in the mail order bride thread.. co worker lost his house, 3 series and about 20k in lawyer fees.. for being common law!

Gentlemen.. PROTECT YOURSELVES!

I still think the best comment ever was from Ari Gold.. 'I'd kill my wife before I'd divorce her'
Haha! I remember it! Entourage was my favorite series... But his wife was richer than him
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      01-09-2013, 05:09 PM   #239
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Don't be like that bro! It's not all bad!
Look I broke the shit out of my shinbone while on my 8th jump!
And a year later, i was smarter and bionic and well I got back in the air!

You can't live your life scared!

You can however live your life smart.
Couldn't be said any better...
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      01-09-2013, 05:16 PM   #240
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I've been happily married for 11 years with my wife. I would never do anything on my part to ruin my marriage. I'm like the perfect husband. I will also follow our marriage rules "till death do us apart" if you know what I mean. I make that very clear to her.
Well, that takes care of half of it. If you look back in this thread, that's EXACTLY where I was two years ago. I was a great husband (get real- you're full of crap if you think you're perfect), and I came to realize she was totally taking advantage of that and bringing almost nothing to the table beyond a friendly smile- I was just taking care of her and getting almost nothing in return. I was 100% faithful and I did 80% of everything from $ to housework (primarily cleaning up after her) to intimacy to washing her damn car. I hope you remain happily married forever, but people change and sh!t happens, man.

Now I'm VERY happily single. Lots of beautiful, smart, ambitious women are interested in me because I have those very qualities she took for granted (and more). SO-MUCH-FUN!!! Guys have told me they'd practically kill to have my life after hearing about an average week

I 2nd that the OP get a therapist. I did and it was very helpful.

Last edited by carve; 01-10-2013 at 09:48 AM.
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      01-09-2013, 06:30 PM   #241
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      01-10-2013, 08:56 AM   #242
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We'll, that takes care of half of it. If you look back in this thread, that's EXACTLY where I was two years ago. I was a great husband (get real- you're full of crap if you think you're perfect), and I came to realize she was totally taking advantage of that and bringing almost nothing to the table beyond a friendly smile- I was just taking care of her and getting almost nothing in return. 100% faithful and I did 80% of everthing from $ to housework to intimacy to washing her damn car. I hope you remain happily married forever, but people change and sh!t happens, man.

Now I'm VERY happily single. Lot's of beautiful, smart, ambitious women are interested in me because I have those very qualities she took for granted (and more). SO-MUCH-FUN!!! Guys have told me they'd practically kill to have my life after hearing about an average week

I 2nd that the OP get a therapist. I did and it was very helpful.
Wow! Sounds like you just described my marriage: one does all the work and other one just enjoys it but does not even appreciates... Looks like we both made same mistake
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