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      09-09-2012, 01:25 PM   #1
adobeee
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Wink Simple dating question

Hey guys,

I've went out on a date with a girl I've met from a messaging app yesterday and wanted to get your advice.

The date lasted from 5 to 11pm (we originally only planned on getting coffee). She was a little shy in the beginning of the date, but started to open up halfway to later during the date. She started referring to doing future plans like going to New York for Christmas together (a good sign I guess), started to grab my arm, body language looked more open, etc. I gave her a peck on the cheek after I dropped her off and she gave me her number before I left. Her rooomate was home so we probably couldn't do anything either, but I want to take it slow and not rush into things.

It seems like she's interested, but how long should I wait before calling her? I want to do it tonight, but afraid that may make myself show as needy.

Opinions appreciated guys! Thanks!

Last edited by adobeee; 09-09-2012 at 07:16 PM.
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      09-09-2012, 01:33 PM   #2
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      09-09-2012, 01:52 PM   #3
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if she really likes you, she won't care. Just hit her up when you feel like it.
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      09-09-2012, 01:55 PM   #4
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Yeah- sometime the next day just say "It was a pleasure spending the evening with you. Let's get together again sometime soon". If you can, work in something particularly memorable or funny from the evening before...maybe she mentioned some kind of quirk she has and you can give her a funny nickname based on that. Adding something like this is all about being memorable and creating an emotional response.

Don't wait too long. You need to create "emotional momentum".

What was the messaging app?

Last edited by carve; 09-09-2012 at 02:08 PM.
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      09-09-2012, 02:15 PM   #5
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what messaging app? i'm curious to hear about people's experiences with meeting people in this kind of technological way..

Anywho, definitely hit her up tomorrow. Give her some time to digest what has taken place on the date etc. You do NOT want to seem needy. But obviously this changes when you guys start seeing eachother more often, become more acquainted etc.
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      09-09-2012, 02:30 PM   #6
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: over thinking it :


Call whenever you want. An initial call want come off as needy. If/when you start dating if you start tracking/calling/texting her every hour of the day... that is needy/insecure.

BTW saying we are 'just meeting up for coffee' is really a way of being able to bail if the moment she met you, she wasn't somewhat interested. Since you guys hung out for awhile I wouldn't sweat it.
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      09-09-2012, 02:33 PM   #7
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Call her when your pecker gives you the signal.
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      09-09-2012, 05:42 PM   #8
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Do what feels right. I would just send her a text or something like that the next day and tell her you enjoyed the date. There's no need to play games like waiting for a certain amount of hours or try to make it seem like you don't need her. Just be yourself.
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      09-09-2012, 06:14 PM   #9
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Simple dating question would be something along the lines of "Do you try to fuck on the first date?"

This is more along the lines of "give me a detailed response as to wtf i am suppose to do next with step by step directions"

Anyways, just call her whenever, make it short and just say that u had fun on the first date and u want to hang out again. Dont have a 3hr life deep conversation.
If she agrees try to plan something casual where u guys can just chill/be in a relaxed atmosphere. (comedy club is a good 2nd date idea)

GL, sounds like you need it
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      09-09-2012, 07:14 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carve View Post
Yeah- sometime the next day just say "It was a pleasure spending the evening with you. Let's get together again sometime soon". If you can, work in something particularly memorable or funny from the evening before...maybe she mentioned some kind of quirk she has and you can give her a funny nickname based on that. Adding something like this is all about being memorable and creating an emotional response.

Don't wait too long. You need to create "emotional momentum".

What was the messaging app?
Thanks! This is great advice. The messaging app is called Wechat or "weixin" in Chinese. It is commonly used by Asians. So if you're into Asians..go for it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MpimpingV View Post
Yeah say you enjoyed her company and try to make another date for fri. This time get a room or invite her over later. The ny thing is kind of weird but if you hit it off I don't see why it would be bad expect if she wants to go shopping lol. Gl
I called her today (about 12 hours after I spoke to her), and left a voicemail saying I've enjoyed meeting her and would really like to see her again and would like to work a date out. Very quick voicemail: about 15 seconds

Quote:
Originally Posted by IFX View Post
what messaging app? i'm curious to hear about people's experiences with meeting people in this kind of technological way..

Anywho, definitely hit her up tomorrow. Give her some time to digest what has taken place on the date etc. You do NOT want to seem needy. But obviously this changes when you guys start seeing eachother more often, become more acquainted etc.
Great advice brother! I've been thinking about her a lot recently, but I've been keeping my cool and only left a voicemail (she didn't pick up since she's apartment hunting like crazy) on the next day.

See first response for the messaging app name!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fitchesbass View Post
: over thinking it :


Call whenever you want. An initial call want come off as needy. If/when you start dating if you start tracking/calling/texting her every hour of the day... that is needy/insecure.

BTW saying we are 'just meeting up for coffee' is really a way of being able to bail if the moment she met you, she wasn't somewhat interested. Since you guys hung out for awhile I wouldn't sweat it.
Wise words, my man. I've only left her a voicemail and don't play to shoot anything more to her unless she replies back.

Thank you for the coffee analysis. We were only meant to hang out for 30 minutes or an hour, but pretty spent the entire night hanging out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jpsum View Post
Call her when your pecker gives you the signal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by BMW E90 View Post
Do what feels right. I would just send her a text or something like that the next day and tell her you enjoyed the date. There's no need to play games like waiting for a certain amount of hours or try to make it seem like you don't need her. Just be yourself.
Already did! Left her a quick 15 second voicemail saying I enjoyed meeting her and would like to see her again soon. I will be myself. Now it's just the waiting game. If she doesn't reply within 2 weeks, I'll just guess she lost interest (but from the date - her body language and behavior showed otherwise).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimmer Nerd View Post
Simple dating question would be something along the lines of "Do you try to fuck on the first date?"

This is more along the lines of "give me a detailed response as to wtf i am suppose to do next with step by step directions"

Anyways, just call her whenever, make it short and just say that u had fun on the first date and u want to hang out again. Dont have a 3hr life deep conversation.
If she agrees try to plan something casual where u guys can just chill/be in a relaxed atmosphere. (comedy club is a good 2nd date idea)

GL, sounds like you need it
Thank you

I will follow all of the advice listed here (most of them went along the same lines). Glad people aren't here to troll OP.

Will keep you guys updated on what happens in the next few days.
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      09-09-2012, 07:34 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saigon View Post
if she really likes you, she won't care. Just hit her up when you feel like it.
THIS GUY +++1

Go with your gut and quit analyzing. I'm amazed at how many people on these forums analyze every single detail..
Apparently, if you don't "play the game" right they will "lose" or something like that...
The reality is that the more games you play the more likely you'll lose.
If you had a good time, text her a note saying "thanks, I really enjoyed it"...
If a girl likes you she won't care and she won't come up with lame excuses.
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      09-09-2012, 08:27 PM   #12
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I agree with others and just call/text when you feel like. And make a move....
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      09-09-2012, 08:29 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adobeee View Post
If she doesn't reply within 2 weeks, I'll just guess she lost interest (but from the date - her body language and behavior showed otherwise).
LOL, two weeks is an awfully long time
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      09-09-2012, 08:35 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by sensi09 View Post
LOL, two weeks is an awfully long time
I would usually give up within a week, but my instinct is just telling me there's something interesting about her...

She is apartment hunting like crazy and school starts for her tomorrow, so I don't want to bug her for now. Sent a text an hour ago asking how apartment hunting is going..no response.

I'll just leave it at that for now. Will post back here for important updates.
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      09-09-2012, 09:51 PM   #15
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Quote:
Mike: So how long do I wait to call?
Trent: A day.
Mike: Tomorrow.
Sue: Tomorrow, then a day.
Trent: Yeah.
Mike: So two days?
Trent: Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
Sue: Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
Trent: You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three days is kind of money. What do you think?
Sue: Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
Trent: Yeah, two's enough not to look anxious. But I think three days is kind of money. You know because you...
Mike: Yeah, but you know what, mabey I'll wait 3 weeks. How's that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just happened to run into her number.
Charles: Then ask her where you met her.
Mike: Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What does she look like? And then I'll asked if we fucked. Is that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Trent: You know what. Ha ha ha Mike, laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Mike: Well how long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
Trent, Sue: Six days.
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      09-09-2012, 11:12 PM   #16
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      09-09-2012, 11:57 PM   #17
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Don't be surprised if she flakes out. Some women are dinner whores.
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      09-10-2012, 12:58 AM   #18
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Don't be surprised if she flakes out. Some women are dinner whores.
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      09-10-2012, 10:38 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Hey guys,

how long should I wait before calling her?!
Ask a higher power
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      09-10-2012, 10:58 AM   #20
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I thought this was a joke until i saw how much you put into your replies.. as to when to call? it doesnt matter its just some wacky advice you read from a woman's magazine and shes asian i dont think they follow those rules .
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      09-10-2012, 11:40 AM   #21
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Hey guys, here's an update:

She texted me on Sunday night around 9pm: "heard your voicemail just now, sryy! is it too late to go to the movie now? wt shall we do? "

I picked her up shortly and we went to watch a movie at the theater. After we finished, she agreed to watch another movie at my place. We finished around 3am and started making out since we were cuddling the whole movie, but as I moved down on her, she said no..and it was too quick. I'm a little bit confused - she is showing signs of interest, but maybe I am the one rushing things too quickly..

This morning, she woke up and was about to leave the apartment while I was still sleeping and was going to walk back home, but I dropped her off instead because I didn't want her to walk 1.5 miles. At her door, I just told her..hey i hope last night was okay and i didnt mean to give you the wrong impression from last night.

What should I do now? Is she losing interest? When's the next best time to talk to her?
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      09-10-2012, 11:43 AM   #22
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Guys, I have an update but need your honest advice...

She texted me the same day around 9pm: "heard your voicemail just now, sryy! is it too late to go to the movie now? wt shall we do? "

Shortly after I picked her up, we went to watch a movie at the theater. After we finished, she agreed to watch another movie at my place. We finished the movie around 3am and started making out since we were cuddling the whole movie, but as I moved down on her, she said no..and it was too quick. I'm a little bit confused - she is showing signs of interest and even stayed the night although we didn't do anything, but maybe I am the one rushing things too quickly..

This morning, she woke up and was about to walk back home while I was still sleeping, but I dropped her off instead because I didn't want her to walk 1.5 miles. At her door, I just told her..hey i hope last night was okay and i didnt mean to give you the wrong impression from last night. ill talk to you again soon. she agreed.

What should I do now? Is she losing interest? When's the next best time to talk to her and what is my next best action?
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