Chuck Norris FACTS (not jokes, facts)

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 11:32 AM

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris had a F10 M5........in 2007

Add your Chuck Norris facts...

Hey Ant · 08-31-2012, 11:37 AM

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard... he jus has another fist.

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 11:45 AM

Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

Simsims · 08-31-2012, 12:31 PM

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

whip_lash · 08-31-2012, 12:35 PM

LOL these are hilarious... never gets old.

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simsims

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

Every once in a blue moon, Chuck Norris is known to visit people in their dreams at night when they post links to his website....it's not a pleasant visit.

Too bad tonight will be a blue moon.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1718517.html

KwlAznKid · 08-31-2012, 12:50 PM

lol at f30 m5

ErvGotti · 08-31-2012, 02:04 PM

They say if you play Stairway To Heaven backwards you can hear Chuck Norris banging your mom

markham335i · 08-31-2012, 02:19 PM

chuck norris can slam a revolving door.

escobar929 · 08-31-2012, 02:28 PM

Chuck Norris doesnt teabag women, he potato sacks them

PINeely · 08-31-2012, 02:55 PM

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 03:49 PM

^^ i lol'd hard.

Bakeme521 · 08-31-2012, 04:11 PM

Any girl that has sex with chuck norris and is on top, immediately becomes part of the mile high club.

Chuck norris puts gravel instead of soap on his slip n slide.

Augenbrauezug · 08-31-2012, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there.

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

Chuck Norris had a F30 M5........in 2007

Add your Chuck Norris facts...

lmao, and here i was thinking I had heard all the chuck norriss facts.

Wolf · 08-31-2012, 04:36 PM

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

!JGunz_325 · 08-31-2012, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

Because he checks this forum regularly and Chuck forbid there's not a thread about him... It would be bad news for everybody

khaye1 · 08-31-2012, 05:31 PM

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he doesn't cry

kevinbahnz · 08-31-2012, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

This has been going on for years and I still don't know the history behind it. I think I heard it on one of the late night shows but I forgot..

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

Can somebody give me a history lesson as to why does every once in a while somebody creates a thread on Chuck Norris facts? I mean what's the story behind all this? Please bear with my ignorance and enlighten me, I am not American.

Just take a look at this guy....this guy plays no MF'n games.

*don't look too long though, or you might resemble Chuck Norris permanently*

Wolf · 08-31-2012, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FwdFtl

Just take a look at this guy....this guy plays no MF'n games.

*don't look too long though, or you might resemble Chuck Norris permanently*

LOL but seriously though how did it start?

passing · 08-31-2012, 07:57 PM

chuck norris has already been to mars. that's why there are no signs of life.

FwdFtl · 08-31-2012, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by !JGunz_325

Because he checks this forum regularly and Chuck forbid there's not a thread about him... It would be bad news for everybody

He's actually a moderator.....for the world wide web

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wolf

LOL but seriously though how did it start?

I honestly don't know.

Anybody know the answer?

08-31-2012, 11:32 AM	#1
FwdFtl Cocaine Biceps Drives: E60 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Cali Posts: 181 iTrader: (0)	Chuck Norris FACTS (not jokes, facts) When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris. Chuck wasn't an actor in the Expendables 2, he just happened to be there. Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. Chuck Norris had a F10 M5........in 2007 Add your Chuck Norris facts... Last edited by FwdFtl; 09-01-2012 at 03:14 AM.
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08-31-2012, 12:31 PM	#4
Simsims Lieutenant Drives: 119/220 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Ottawa Posts: 562 iTrader: (0)	http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ __________________ VO 1M - everything except sunroof RIP BSM 135i 2009-2011

08-31-2012, 12:50 PM	#7
KwlAznKid Lieutenant Colonel Drives: BMW/MERCEDES/PORSCHE Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Irvine/Fremont, CA/ University of California San Diego Alum Posts: 1,539 iTrader: (2)	lol at f30 m5 __________________ BMW E92 328I / BMW E46 M3 / Mercedes Benz W209 CLK500 BMW E92 335I (sold)/ Porsche 996 911 C2 (sold)/ BMW E46 325CI (totaled)

08-31-2012, 02:19 PM	#9
markham335i Lieutenant Drives: 07 335i Join Date: May 2010 Location: Toronto, Markham Posts: 523 iTrader: (0)	chuck norris can slam a revolving door. __________________ Upgrades: <JB4, DCI, 19"bbs ch-r, 30%tint all around, bmw performance exhaust, upgraded angel eyes>.....Next upgrades (I would like): ams intercooler, KW v2 springs, BBK, turbo upgrade....etc....

08-31-2012, 02:55 PM	#11
PINeely Major Drives: 2009 E90 N54 Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Jackson, MS Posts: 1,232 iTrader: (0)	__________________

08-31-2012, 11:37 AM	#2
Hey Ant Form & Function Drives: AWE92 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: 818 Los Angeles Posts: 2,028 iTrader: (13)	Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard... he jus has another fist.

08-31-2012, 11:45 AM	#3
FwdFtl Cocaine Biceps Drives: E60 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Cali Posts: 181 iTrader: (0)	Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died

08-31-2012, 12:35 PM	#5
whip_lash First Lieutenant Drives: 335i Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 374 iTrader: (3)	LOL these are hilarious... never gets old.

08-31-2012, 02:04 PM	#8
ErvGotti Major Drives: 2008 135i 6MT Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,116 iTrader: (5) Garage List 2008 135i [3.00]	They say if you play Stairway To Heaven backwards you can hear Chuck Norris banging your mom

08-31-2012, 02:28 PM	#10
escobar929 Brigadier General Drives: 135i Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Hollywood, FL Posts: 4,106 iTrader: (7) Garage List 2010 135i [3.50]	Chuck Norris doesnt teabag women, he potato sacks them

08-31-2012, 03:49 PM	#12
FwdFtl Cocaine Biceps Drives: E60 Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Cali Posts: 181 iTrader: (0)	^^ i lol'd hard.

08-31-2012, 04:11 PM	#13
Bakeme521 Some say... Drives: Fresh Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Baton Rouge n NOLA Posts: 4,194 iTrader: (12) Garage List 2007 BMW 335i [4.39]	Any girl that has sex with chuck norris and is on top, immediately becomes part of the mile high club. Chuck norris puts gravel instead of soap on his slip n slide. __________________ I have exhaust and an intake...

08-31-2012, 05:31 PM	#17
khaye1 Colonel Drives: '12 MW 335i Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,496 iTrader: (5)	Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer...too bad he doesn't cry __________________

08-31-2012, 07:57 PM	#21
passing hey Drives: caprice wagon Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: cruisin down the street in my '64 Posts: 344 iTrader: (4)	chuck norris has already been to mars. that's why there are no signs of life.

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