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      03-19-2012, 04:25 AM   #1
jesselou
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girl problems- friendzoned and im starting to have doubts...

so back in senior year of HS, i met this girl through class and we started off as normal friends. she's kinda the touchy- feely type, even though she had a bf at that time but she definitely wasn't my type of girl and i had no intentions of hooking up with her. soon enough, we graduated and i went up to norcal for college and she stayed in socal.

freshmen year around march- she broke up with her bf on fb and i texted her to see how she's doing and we hanged out twice during spring break and things kinda got a little heated, so we got in a "relationship". it's in quote becuz she's the touchy- clingy type and i kinda just gave in and didnt want to say no but she still sorta had feelings for her ex. of course, being that we were long distance and that we were just immature, stupid freshmen, we lasted 3 months and then "broke up".

sophmore/junior year college- we still kept in touch. occasionally hanged out when i went down to LA. we talk about once week or every 2 weeks and she's been with a few other guys during these years. ohh and one time, she used me to lie to her mom about visiting her new bf in texas. basically, her mom really trusts me and she lied to her mom that she was gonna hang out with me in norcal, when wat she did was come up, hang out a few days, then flew out to texas to hang out with the bf, then flew back to norcal and i drove her down to LA... yea, i know that was pretty f***ed up of me to let her do that to me...

senior year college- we were suppose to hang out during thanksgiving and i canceled on her becuz of family and she got pretty pissed off at me. so i felt bad and tried to make it up by hanging out more during winter break. lets just say, we hanged out way too much. we went from talking sporadically, to talking few times a day. she even said that i became her 'best friend'. (we had agreed that we would never be a match for each other and that we're both looking for something else in our significant other) i also learned that during winter break she dumped her bf that she's was with for 2 months in florida.. so now's shes moping about it again. and right before i was about to head back to norcal for school, she said she wanted to hang out one last time in SD (she goes to UCSD and had school/work, so she couldnt come up to LA) and i stupidly agreed to haul my a$$ down there to hang out for just a few hours.

there's some stuff that happened afterward from winter break to now (mid march) and i doubt u guys wanna read anymore. so ill just end the story here. i just can't help but think that im always being used by her. hanging out with her is fun and all, but i feel like i deserve better. i know most of u are gonna say that there's alot of fish in the sea, or that i need to set boundaries so i dont always get the short end of the stick. its just, i dont mind her taking advantage of me, its just that she sometimes gets too accustomed to it and takes it for granted. it also doesn't help when i know she has this other guy she's interested in seeing in SD. so, the thing is that i like her as a friend and i care for her as a friend (and only as a friend), but at the same time, it bugs the $hit out of me whenever she's texting or talking with guys that try to hit on her. so as naive or as stupid as it sounds, i sorta have the feeling that if im not gonna get her, i dont want others to have a shot at her either...

so now spring break is coming up next week and im planning on not seeing her at all and just trying to slowly let us drift apart... but i dunno if thats a good idea. ive always enjoyed having someone that i could talk with about everything and not having to try and impress, and she was that girl. maybe im afraid that if i cut all ties with her, ill lose that person who was able to stay with me through thick and thin... btw, i do just wanna be friends/best friends with her and nothing more. she's definitely not my type... at least not now that she's been with soooo many guys... lol

so wut should i do? should i continue being friends, forget about her and move on or do something else?

spark notes version: became close/best friend with a girl that has way too many bf's under her belt and she occasionally does take advantage of me, but she's a cool girl. and i wanna know wat i should do? should i continue being friends, forget about her and move on or do something else?
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      03-19-2012, 06:03 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesselou View Post

spark notes version:
she is a whore and you are a fool
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      03-19-2012, 06:09 AM   #3
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Quote:
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she is a whore and you are a fool
this. welcome to the world of women
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      03-19-2012, 06:44 AM   #4
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Just enjoy her company then, nothing wrong with that.

However, you have to treat her as your sex toy.

Women like to be dominated, you gotta be an ass to her sometimes.
Man up!
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      03-19-2012, 08:33 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jesselou View Post

spark notes version: became close/best friend with a girl that has way too many bf's under her belt and she occasionally does take advantage of me, but she's a cool girl. and i wanna know wat i should do? should i continue being friends, forget about her and move on or do something else?
The bold is all you need...
enough said..
plenty of hot girls in cali
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      03-19-2012, 08:54 AM   #6
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Lol @ this thread.

It's all sad but true.
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      03-19-2012, 08:59 AM   #7
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Why is it that OP's post sounds so much like Offspring's "Self Esteem"...just with more words?

Its almost like being rickrolled.

OP - move on. She'll keep using you if you're there, find the person who you really are interested in and forget about this.
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      03-19-2012, 09:01 AM   #8
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Not to be brash, Dude - man up, kick her to the curb and move on.

There are plenty, plenty, plenty of girls out there. Why be around someone who doesn't have the common decency to treat you, well, decently?
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      03-19-2012, 09:36 AM   #9
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there are some pretty cool tips and tricks to insure you never fall into the friend zone. you could actually torture this chick with some of these tips lol

Sounds like you still like her so ill just leave this here.....

www.thetaoofbadass.com

Last edited by Rookie83; 03-19-2012 at 09:48 AM.
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      03-19-2012, 09:39 AM   #10
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What you've experienced is normal. But you always need the big brother or best friend advice to tell you to stop with the platonic relationships (well it sounds like for the most part) and move on to the ones where you've got potential for a mate, or if not, seriously, sex. We've all been through that before, and it's like some tragic European movie, that always ends in disappointment. There's nothing wrong with being friends, but when you're single and available, imho your time should be spent chasing tail. Because you cannot do that anymore once you're engaged and/or married (in good conscience). Enjoy life and do the things that make you feel good, not confused or hesitant. Good luck bro.
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      03-19-2012, 10:45 AM   #11
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you need to learn how to really get a girl off...if you had made her cum really hard...she wouldn't be pulling this crap...she'd be following you around like a puppy dog begging for more
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      03-19-2012, 10:54 AM   #12
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Is this real?

Dude, you already let her have all the power so trying to man up to her now is not going to work. Just ditch the girl and find someone else. You're wasting your time with this one...
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      03-19-2012, 10:54 AM   #13
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Being friendzoned is a closer in 99% of guy's situations, OP. Besides, you even said it yourself: you're both best friends. So why are you expecting more from her?

Protip (from experience): as soon as the whole 'friends' thing is brought up, and you think you want more, say so. Otherwise she'll never develop the spark for you and will always think of you as one. You should've spoken sooner. It's too late, so move on.

I missed my opportunity with one of my 'best female friends' because I was a puss that didn't speak up when I should've (and I was clearly skipping choice opportunities to do something...we were basically a perfect match). She found another guy, and I tried making a move then because I feared I was going to lose my chance; I did. She said she wanted a guy to let her know right away if he had feelings for her.
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      03-19-2012, 11:01 AM   #14
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Did you join the forum to tell us this story?
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      03-19-2012, 12:19 PM   #15
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Did you join the forum to tell us this story?
If you google ask Dr. Phil., e90 post shows up as the third choice...
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      03-19-2012, 02:33 PM   #16
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If you google ask Dr. Phil., e90 post shows up as the third choice...
we give better advice than that bald fat ass
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      03-19-2012, 04:20 PM   #17
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Dude, you don't have girl problems. This girl has guy problems. She likes too many of them. Move on emotionally and hang out with her when it's convenient for you. Girls like that will get all worked up when you stop giving them attention.
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      03-19-2012, 05:24 PM   #18
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I can't believe this shit...You guys are off your ball game!

OP...Pics or it didn't happen!
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      03-19-2012, 05:27 PM   #19
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      03-19-2012, 05:38 PM   #20
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How does she meet so many people out of state?
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      03-19-2012, 08:20 PM   #21
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OP, your story literally sounds like what I went through not too long ago. This is what you need to do: Drop her. Once you stop calling, texting, etc. She'll instantly forget about you. Don't do her anymore favors either. Once you stop all that, the words "best friends" will never come out of her mouth again. She says that because you go out of your way for her and she doesn't want you to stop.

Wanna know what I did? After I realized all that, I went overseas on vacation and hooked up with a girl while I was there. Got over the girl that used me and I've been good ever since. I'm still friends with her. She'll text me occasionally wanting to hang out or grab a bite to eat. And I do but I never flip the bill or pick her up anymore. I've realized I'm way better off without her. She's been dating different guys on and off since. I'm glad I'm not in that situation anymore.
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      03-19-2012, 09:59 PM   #22
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Dump her and move on. She is using you!
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