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I've been shopping M3's also. Your offer of $53,500 seems right on the money to me. Some prefer the 6MT to DCT, but they are the minority, and in any case it doesn't change the fact that DCT is simply more expensive. 2009 models with DCT and slightly higher mileage go for about $53-54k private party. I'd say the lower mileage is roughly an even trade for the less costly transmission.
You really just need to ask yourself how important it is for you to get the best deal out there, and how important it is for you to get the car you want. If another buyer comes along and gives your seller his $55k will you wish you had ponied up the extra $1500? If you answered yes, it must be a fair deal, so buy the car.
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