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Funny story: Kian actually took my calculus final for me after I passed out drunk the night before. I woke up hungover and completely flustered. I had the biggest knot in my stomach because the final was 40% of my grade. Knowing all hope was lost, I hadn't even bothered to email my professor for a 2nd chance. A few days later, I run into my calculus professor at the bakery 3 minutes from campus. He approaches me and I just think "f*ck, fu*k, I'm f***ed.." He reaches out his hand and congratulates me on the highest grade on the final. His once austere face showed a hint of a smile. My now clammy, trembling hands shake his and I mumble "th-thh-thanks? Wait what?" Kian never spoke a word of this, and little did he know he saved my a** GPA wise.
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Just out of curiosity, what do you do for a living? Does it involve calculus in any way? (I hope not
). Not gonna lie, I get a little uneasy when hearing about academic dishonesty but I'll leave that for another thread.
Anyways, I read through all of that and you've pretty much described my nightmare scenario. This is why I would never lend a car to a friend, and if I absolutely had to lend my car to a friend I'd only do it to someone with a comparably nice car (or better).
You mentioned your M5 is a lease. Is there a mileage limit per year? The fact that he's dodging your calls is extremely shady. If this were me, I'd be furious, kind of. The fact that your M5 is really just a rental (lease) makes things easier to swallow, but not by much.
What's your quote on the damages?
Like, if you had given me your M5 for the weekend, I would not smoke in it. I would not eat in it, nor would I order food in it and potentially grease up the carpets. I wouldn't travel on dirt roads. I'd probably buy a new pair of shoes to minimize soiling your driver side carpet
I'd go as far as to abstain from coughing or sneezing or farting inside your car, and I'd be cognizant about how dirty my hands are at all times (e.g. if I go out to eat at a restaurant, I'm damn well going to make sure that I wash my hands thoroughly with soap and water before heading out to the car). Naturally, I'd only enter your car after I've showered, and I'd never take your car on a trip if I expected to get sweaty or dirty in any way. I'd meticulously make sure not to touch the windows or any glass with my bare hands. When closing a car door, I only touch the black "strip" that houses the car windows, and I'll only use a single finger or two so as to minimize how much I'm touching the vehicle. Like, I'm anal-retentive when it comes to taking care of nice cars that other people let me use. I sure as hell wouldn't put 2000 miles on it without explicitly asking your permission first, especially
knowing that it's a lease. Hell, I wouldn't even ask to put 2000 miles on it within the span of 3 days in the first place
. These are unwritten rules that only car guys understand.
Yeah to answer your question I'd be absolutely livid. Definitely keep us updated.
Edit: Added more anal-retentive things. And just so we're clear, none of that is said mockingly. I'm dead serious about those hypothetical, anal-retentive habits
. Some of it is so ridiculous that it may be misconstrued as mocking or parody.