Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Tonka
The only thing i don't agree with is this enormous love that parents feel for their kids. Don't get me wrong, kids are to be loved unconditionally. But if you're married i believe the hierarchy should always be Spouse, Kids, extended family. If you have a deeper love for a child than you do for your spouse, something is wrong with the relationship. You'll be hard pressed to find a woman who will chose their spouse over their child in a life and death situation. This to me is completely backwards and a recipe for relationship disaster or at least a marriage of tolerated misery.
We have an epidemic of HUGE proportions in this country because many parents place the bulk of their love on their children rather than their spouses. And since those children aren't capable of providing for themselves, most of these parents slip into a subservient role rather than a disciplinarian role that comes with unconditional love.
This does is a disservice to those kids as they never learn about disappointment until they leave the protective environment of their parents' home. It's the parent's responsibility to prepare their children to be productive members of society and this can easily get lost when a parent is giving a child everything they want.
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I don't think all these traits necessarily go hand in hand. Would I save my kid over my SO in a life or death situation? Kid can't help himself, boyfriend can, so, uh, yeah. Does this mean I'm going to give my kid everything and spoil him until he's a soft little boy with a victim mentality, and always side with him rather than my SO? Absolutely not.
Do I love him more than I do my SO? In a different way, but probably. I'm chemically designed to. That doesn't mean there's something wrong with my relationship, or that I can't fully love my SO. But perhaps that's just my experience.