Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr
What do I get out of marriage?
Trust, for one. Its a covenant with each other. Not saying cheating doesn't happen, clearly it does, but I trust her fully, and not just in the area of fidelity. I trust that if I get sick, she's not going to just pack up and leave - there is a deep committment in marriage, but it has to be shared by both sides. And it doesn't sound like you share that, but honestly, its probably because you're with the wrong woman (I'm being blunt).
Mutual respect and support is another - when you're just long term relationship, that's all it is. The woman's side of it is that you want an easy out should you find something better (which frankly I agree that this is unfair to ask of a woman), and from a guy's point of view, you are trying to protect yourself against a system biased against you should you divorce for no fault of your own (however, if you cheat, I think you deserve to make those payments, if she cheats, I think she should get nothing, it should be simplified). But in marriage, you're tied to each other, you have a mutual respect for each other and want the other to succeed (and in doing so, certainly you are reaping benefits too), and you are united in a common goal because you share enough similarities on the important issues that you work together.
I don't know really how better to describe it, there's a lot more, sure, but its hard to put into words. But I certainly am happy I'm married. So don't write it off just yet.
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This is some good input, and I value your statement. Being blunt, is also being honest. I still question if she is the right woman. I do have the satisfaction of knowing that neither of us would ever stay from one another, and she is a great person with a huge heart, she just tends to be a real bitch at times. I know she wants to get married some day, however, that road still has a lot of miles to be traveled.
How well do you both handle opposing opinions on certain matters? Raising children (if you have any), financials, etc?
Our conflicting ideologies tend to cause heated conversations that I feel should easily be handled with a few comments and let be done, but end up turning into 2 hours of nonsense.