[a3ndy]

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you
if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.


2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am
out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have
received anything at all.


3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails
you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be
patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was
received.


4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
£5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for each additional
word in your message.


5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection
and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your
computer and try sending again.'(The beauty of this is that
when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this
over and over).


6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a
queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can
expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.


7. I've run away to join a different circus.


8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons..... When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret '
instead of 'Steve'.