The Roethlisberger entry:
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Originally Posted by deadspin
Ben Roethlisberger: Steelers quarterback, dick
A brief story, related to us by a trusted source: Our scene is the annual celebrity golf tournament on the shores of Lake Tahoe, the American Century Championship. The year is uncertain. Our principals are a security guard, Ben Roethlisberger, and a handful of professional football types, among them one former safety who by the end of this story will be so disgusted with Ben Roethlisberger that he will want to do to him what he once did to so many slot receivers on a crossing pattern. We are out on the golf course, somewhere among the tall pines in the shadow of the High Sierras. Imagine sunlight glinting off the lake, a whitecap or two breaking in the distance, Charles Barkley slicing a one-iron into Truckee. And now imagine Roethlisberger approaching our guard and tapping the man on his shoulder. The guard turns. He smiles. He recognizes the quarterback and extends a hand in greeting. How do you do, Mr. Roethlisberger? This is a celebrity golf tournament, after all, where the swells mingle with the commoners, where in fact the whole purpose is for the swells to mingle with the commoners, to give some real-estate broker in the gallery a nice story about Greg Maddux to embellish for the boys back in Walnut Creek. It is a safe bet that the guard has shaken a great many hands today.
How do you do, Mr. Roethlisberger?
Our quarterback reaches into his mouth and, right there in front of God and John Lynch, presses something into the guard's offered palm. The guard looks down. It's a moist little wad of chewing gum. (Tommy Craggs)
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