I went through the exact same decision process. The S4 impressed me quite a bit and I think the engine is underrated on paper. The one I drove was loaded out with the special interior and I came away with the feeling that I liked the interior slightly better than the M3, but I think it came mainly from the nav/menu display and the seats. That's not to say that the seats in the M3 are inferior, just different. My finances were a little tight at the time and for nearly 15k less I almost went with the S4.
That being said, what sold me on the M3 was the abundant options for setting up the car. The S4 with it's comfort/dynamic/sport modes are nice, but sometimes I just want a little of one and a lot of the other.
2 things pushed me over the edge to the M3, the masterpeice V8 and the customizing ability of Mdrive. When I heard that the sedan AND the V8 were going away from the next gen M3, I figured I'd be kicking myself if I didn't get it now. There will plenty of 6 bangers around when this M3 runs it's course in my garage.
Oh and now that i've had mine a while, your comment on D mode not downshifting quickly enough, I found that you need to have the power button in at least sport, but more over into sport plus to mitigate that issue.
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08 GT500 convertible red package (Black w/ Red stripes) /Ford Racing Exhaust /Cold Air Induction 560hp
10 Porsche Cayenne GTS Black w/ Black Wheels 408hp
11 M3 Silverstone w/ Silver Novillo Leather /Tech /Premium /19" /DCT /Ipod 414hp
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