Get the minimally appointed one for as close to invoice as possible. Throwing in the purchase of a whole other car should be incentive enough for your dealer to come down.
Otherwise, I have to advise you walk, since your loyalty isn't getting you much and giving them everything. Invoice provides the dealer a fair profit, especially for these cars.
Also, I will be selling my current car on consignment and letting another dealer sell it for me for a fee. This will be a much higher value than a straight trade-in.
EDIT:
To sum up: Invoice is $55,905.00 for the E92. Add:
$875 destinantion charge
$1300 Gas Guzzler
$950 Non-extended leather
$1000 EDC
$400 iPod
$64055.80 with 6% CT sales tax. Much less than what he's quoting you, but still $3K over your budget of $61K.