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Hi everyone,
Yesterday, I finally concluded my divorce. I felt that everyone should know as there is so much to learn from my experience.
The details of my situation is on the first page of this thread but I will briefly mentioned it again for those who doesn’t have time to read. I live in New Jersey. I had been married for about 19 years until yesterday. I have a 16 years of daughter. After a long and unhappy marriage I decided to divorce about year and a half ago. My X used to make decent money but she lost her job about 4 years ago and never look for a similar type of job since it required longer commute. Instead she took a job a few minutes from home paying 1/3 of what she used to make.
After long negotiations and mediator sessions this is the divorce agreement I signed yesterday : She will get PERMANENT alimony of about $3,400 a month for life. The only way for alimony to be terminated is if I or she dies, or if she get remarried, or I retire. Also about $700 child support am month until my daughter graduates from college. I will have to cover 3/4 of my daughter’s college, medical and all other expenses.
The reason the child support is relatively low is because my daughter will stay with me 3 nights a week. Otherwise it would have been around $1600 a month.
So as you can see if I totally f***ed for long time. I am 43, so I have 25 years before I retire. I am pretty sure she will never get married again since she will be getting more money from me than she makes.
There is a BIG lesson for everyone to learn. Although each state has different laws (NJ is the worst if you are the one giving, and the best if you are the one getting) if you feel that your marriage is not going to last much longer, YOU SHOULD TALK TO A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER. If I had known what I know now a few years ago, my loss would have been a lot less But it is too late for it now…
When I think about what I can do with the money she will get from me I go crazy. But lately I find a way to convince myself to accept it and look at it as “cost of my freedom”.
I hope no one has to give away their hard earn money to someone who is lazy and irresponsible like in my case.
Good luck to all!!!
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