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This is a good time for a "Home Improvement" quote! Has he been your best friend for 10 years, or was he your best friend 10 years ago?
You HAVE to drop this guy. You will regret it if you keep him as your best man. Obviously, he and his wife have major trust/jealousy/possessive/whipped issues. He also is apparently too "high class" for the likes of you, being that he deleted his FB due to old pics now that he has a "new image".
I would have a heart-to-heart with him. Tell him you're offended and hurt because you thought more and expected more out of your friendship. And although his wife should be the most important person in his life, it shouldn't mean that he disregards his friends.
I'll give you an easy out: tell him he HAS to dance with the bridesmaid or you'll need to replace him. He'll probably voluntarily drop out.
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