I would check on the part about them not "knowing' what your order # is on the list. Every dealer I've checked with in the DC area has been able to give me a firm number of wait list people who are waiting for production orders. Its ranged from #15+ about 1 month ago at an MD dealer to #5 at a VA dealer. But all could basically tell me where that put me. FYI the #16 at the MD dealer had him speculating on a late 2008 early 2009 delivery if past e46M3 allocations held firm.
That is why I went with military sales...will get a summer 08 delivery likely and an MSRP so far of $49500! (per the signed purchase order with BWM NA at the top!)
Which leaves plenty of room for options!