Good advice has been given, you don't want to take it. Stop wasting everyone's time by posting. I don't care if you paid $10k for your wheels, they are cheap replicas. I did a quick search online and your wheels go for $900 a set, I'm not sure how you got to $4000. The fact that you are having these issues should be evidence enough that they are sub-par. OEM wheels are a fantastic option and are in fact cheap if you buy them from one of the numerous people who take them off their car to UPGRADE. An UPGRADE from OEM is a quality wheel in an actual M3 offsets made by a quality manufacturer with a solid reputation. Examples include BBS, Volk, Advan, OZ, HRE... Those options are all very expensive which is why I recommended getting an OEM set used. In addition, I'm not sure what gave you the idea that VMR's are some sort of benchmark around here. They are a decent wheel with a decent reputation but they are still a cast replica.
You are over complicating this. Sell your wheels and move on. Don't take it personally. Live and learn, I have messed around with replica wheels in the past and they were always a complete hassle (bends, vibrations, etc). When you search the forum do you see any posts of anyone having to machine special adapters for their wheels to work? No, it's ridiculous to have to do that.
Good luck.
Edit- here's a set of OEM 19's with new snows for $1550
http://www.m3post.com/forums/showthread.php?t=940204