[AMOCHOSTO]

Congrats on your new M3 Gray I don't have a DCT so I can't tell you what is normal or not, but the way you describe things, I'll take a shot and hopefully someone with a DCT can follow up.

The DCT has several settings on it, I'm sure if you set it to the least agressive setting it will shift earlier for you and not be too noisy etc. The manual, or a DCT owner will tell you which settings are most agressive and least agressive. I believe there are 5 settings for each of the automatic and manual modes.

The way you describe the revving when the car downshifts leads me to believe the transmission is rev-matching, allowing for smoother and faster downshifts. I think rev matching only occurs in the more agressive settings on the DCT.

The lurching you describe is common to both DCT and 6mt transmissions when the engine is cold. You will learn to modulate the throttle to avoid it in time.

So I guess the answer is you need to set the DCT to less agressive settings when you want to be calm and to agressive settings when it's time to be a hoon.

Enjoy!