start Rant/
So i've come to a bit of a cross road with the best man in my wedding, 2 months before the big day. We've been best friends for the past 12 years through college years into our careers. However he met his wife 2 years ago (was married within 1 year) and honestly things have changed drastically. Never hear from him, we don't have much in common anymore, he always has this chip on the shoulder from me giving him crap in the past about changing who he is for his wife. OMG there's been FB drama, the whole 9 yards, Now I feel like I barely know him.
I made him my best man since we've been friends for so long and at the time things were better than they are now. I probably didn't think it through enough at the time. Few facts:
- He being my best man is the only groomsman not going to the bachelor party (because he doesn't want his wife to get jealous and he doesn't want to risk cheating on his wife), He also didn't try to help plan any of it
- He didn't organize or go to the tux fitting and went to a baby shower instead
- He is one of the last people to still not send in the RSVP for the wedding, it's got a damn stamp on it, how hard is that?
- Never really offered to help
- I had to organize getting all the groomsmen to get together
- Seems to care less about the wedding and thinks i'm a groomzilla
Another one of my best friends has done all of the above, recently just helped me through an injury i sustained which landed me in the ER for 5 hours and he's just always there for me and honestly my best friend and has never changed who he is.
I feel like I screwed up and put the wrong guy with the title and responsibility that I expected. Issue I have is that this is my one wedding. I feel like if I keep him, i'm not having the wedding how I want it, and for the price i'm paying and the image I always had in my head about my special day, my conscious tells me I should change him out, even though it may cause waves and possibly close a friendship that really doesn't seem to matter to me anymore.
On the other hand my brain also tells me to just leave it be, don't make waves, keep the wedding going smooth.
There's a lot more to the story, but this is just the 20,000 ft level. I'm going to have a talk with him this week, and am really considering making the change and letting him know how I feel.
Just looking for some thoughts. It's a tough situation and it's also very disheartening to see someone you used to call your brother end up being someone that really doesn't exist in your life anymore the way you expected them to always be there. Even my soon to be wife thinks he sucks as a best man...
/rant