There is probably no one answer here. I have had very satisfying orgasms with my wife (or prior) and still rock solid within 6 (hell 2
) hours..and nope, im not a young chicken.
Just seeing my wife unclothed within 30 mins of sex (with her), and its a rock. And stimulation really does not make or break it. Don't overthink it.
If there is one thing I could offer, it is don't work on holding back - work on being able to push (like emptying your bladder). You can basically keep extra blood going to the member at will - blowing your load really has no bearing once you get control over this muscle group.
Not much of a reader myself - but every guy should have scanned this - http://www.amazon.com/ESO-Lover-Exte.../dp/0446677620
While it was never necessary, I did have a prescription for your common ED drug for a while (bc the wife liked it). The bottle has been on the shelf for the last 6 months and there has been no reason to even open it...