Well, this is an interesting thread. I recently sold my Evo IX SE and bought an 09 E90 M3. I love reading about these guys who estimate their horsepower and never get a real dyno assoicated with it. I spent close to $2000 in performance mods with an AMS turbo exhaust $1100 (much lounder than stock, so factor in another discomfort to driving; and won't pass emissions), Perrin intake $200, O2 housing $150, AMS lower intercooler pipe $100, and a dyno tune from a well respected tuning company in Pennsylvania $450. This still only got me to 315hp/292tq on a mustang dyno. You could mod the crap out of the Evo for relatively cheap, but each mod comes at a cost to comfort, resale, emissions, etc.
The evo feels faster because it is much lower and smaller than the M3, but doesn't really stand a chance against it. I believe a better comparison is the E90 335i with a Procede. The cars are closer in price and the cost of tuning is comparable.
I'm now in my 30's and you're absolutely right. The main reason I sold the Evo was because I couldn't really take myself seriously when I would walk out to it and get in. I decided to sell it the day I saw some douchebag behind me in a WRX wearing his hat sideways, knowing I was in the same class of car as this guy.
. I also got tired of explaining to people what an Evo was.
Drive what you like; enjoy it; and quit worrying about who's faster because we're all just as slow as the guy in front of us. Trust me, I know I live near DC now.