Courtesy of nyc.barstoolsports.com ...
Sean Payton Shits All Over Jerry Jonesí Face
Ė On Friday night, the Saintsí staff at the combine gathered in a private room at St. Elmo Steakhouse. At the restaurant, word passed that Dallas owner Jerry Jones would have his Dallas group in this exact room Saturday night for a team dinner. Jones had even phoned ahead, according to a waiter, to make sure a magnum of a wine he loved, Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon, was ready to be served at dinner. Sean Payton told the waiter heíd like to have that wine, too. The waiter told him: Sorry, sir. We have only one bottle left, and itís reserved for Mr. Jones. Payton said heíd like to have the bottle nonetheless. I assume there was much angst on the part of the wait staff at that point. My God! Who do we piss off? One of the most powerful owners in the NFL, or the coach whoís the toast of the NFL, the coach who just won the Super Bowl? Here came the bottle of Caymus Special Selection, and the Saintsí party drained it. But drinking Jonesí wine wasnít enough. Payton gave the waiter some instructions, took out his pen Ö and, well, the Cowboys party found at the middle of their table the next evening an empty magnum of Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon, with these words hand-written on the fancy label:
World Champions XLIV
Thatís the kind of thing Jones will get a big laugh out of. And remember.
I know what you guys are thinking. Oh hereís typical Scott about to make some absurd over the top analogy about how much he hates Jerry Jones and the Cowboys. Well guess what? Its not happening. Donít get me wrong Ė I hate the fucking Cowboys just as much as I hate whiskey dick and fat girls and the Eagles. But as much as Iíd love to sit here and talk about what an evil hillbilly Jerry Jones is, I just canít do it. Because I know that at the end of the day heís just a guy who likes to crush pussy and eat his boogers and have a good time, so who the hell am I to argue with that? Dudes a 70-year old gajillionaire and still living it up. Donít hate the player hate the game son. Plus as long as Jerry keeps calling all the shots for the Cowboys, pretty sure Giants fans donít have a goddamn thing to worry about. Even in the Giants shitty years (read: 2009) they still swept the shit out of Dallas. So keep doing what youíre doing Jerry. Let the Tony Romos and Wade Phillips of the world keep hanging around, because it can only mean good things for Big Blue.
PS Ė Who the fuck are these waiters to be giving away Jerry Joneís wine in the first place? If someone takes my last bottle of Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon AND drops a stupid fucking note into the empty bottle to taunt me with, I can guarantee you heads will roll. Especially when the note says Who Dat because Iíve had it up to here with the goddamn Who Dats by now. We get it New Orleans. You have funny accents and you love the Saints and youíve been through a lot. Enough already.
PPS- Peter King can pretend all he wants that Jerry Jones is going to get a big laugh out of this and its all fun and games. But like Chris Rock said, you save the big piece of chicken for daddy. And you save the last bottle of Caymus Special Selection cabernet sauvignon for Jerry. If you donít know, now ya know.