Originally Posted by MJC///M3
Dear Man with a red suit who is pleasantly overweight,
This is unacceptable and your insolence will not be tolerated. As a result, I will be sure to sleep with one eye opened, so that when you climb down my chimney on one foggy christmas eve....(without delivering my prized turbo) you will be met with an onslaught of livestock products, fruit, vegetables, anything that can be hurled at your head. I will then proceed to drop the "people's elbow" on you, I will take back the turbo that is rightfully mine, and be sure to show Mrs. C a "good time."
A very displeased young boy,
Over the last several hundred years, I have developed contingency plans for situations just like this. As a result of your entitlement mentality, I will be sending Blitzen down the chimney posterior end first after feeding him Mexican food all week and letting him drink the water. Due to the horrible stench, your open eye will begin to water profusely, at which point I will come in through the front door and your tears will freeze leaving you essentially blinded. During the commotion, I will silently slip in and leave you "Reindeer coal" in your stocking. Mrs. C just happens to be reading this over my shoulder and she asked me to tell you that you would have an awfully difficult time showing her a good time since she lives WITH the north pole. What, you didn't actually think it was a "place", did you?