Alright, first of all, I forbid any projection of gender issues onto my new squeeze. She's a refined lady of impeccable character, and only worked as a stripper in college to pay her tuition. Second, I'm the guy in North Carolina who DOESN'T own a gun, so the carbon fiber gunrack is out. Maybe a chef's quality cutlery set, though...
And thanks again for all your comments. It's nice to be in the fraternity of like minded crazed zealots. We're all on double secret probation, and the only thing we can do is...road trip!