Had mine since May now and had no real probs with the lag issue at all, neither has the car been updated since delivery.
As others have said, you can't have the best of both worlds. The gearbox IMO does an amazing job at taming quite a beast of an engine nto a pussycat round town in auto mode whilst still allowing mega quick fiece gearchanges as required when 'pressing on'
I potter around town in the default D (setting 2) but when I want the gearchanges to be a bit more sporty then I knock it up to setting 5. My 'manual' is at setting 5 all the time.
I think there is another update coming soon which almost eradicates the lag completely - I would be very interested in getting this done just to see if it can be any better?