Okay... yeah, it was not easy for me.
Follow the directions in the manual, but if you do not get the indicators that you are supposed to then you're not doing it right.
The only trick is that the distance that you hold the remote to your rear view mirror is super fickle. I've done it several times and it was different each time. So just start with it close, try it, if it doesn't work, go out a bit further and try again. If you can figure out what direction your signal comes out of your remote, make sure you have it pointed to your rear view.
Lastly, remember that to operate it, its push and hold, not push and let go.
2003 Ducati '996
2008 M3: Sparking Graphite, Red Fox Standard, 19s, Premium pkg, Tech pkg, Premium Enhanced Sound, HD Radio, Heated Front Seats.