OP - based on your very thorough and meaningful posts it's now clear to me that the wheels are not the problem. At this point I think the best option is to sell the M3 and go back to a Honda Civic. Please also pay more than MSRP for the Civic because that will guarantee that if you have mechanical problems it will not be the car's fault.
'13 M3 - Silverstone II - Sold
'04 M3 - Jet Black - BBS E88, KW Clubsports