OP - based on your very thorough and meaningful posts it's now clear to me that the wheels are not the problem. At this point I think the best option is to sell the M3 and go back to a Honda Civic. Please also pay more than MSRP for the Civic because that will guarantee that if you have mechanical problems it will not be the car's fault.
'08 E90 M3 - Alpine White - Sold
'13 E92 M3 - Silverstone II - Sold
'04 E46 M3 - Jet Black - BBS E88, KW Clubsports, Brembo BBK, SuperSprint Exhaust, Recaro
'15 i3 - Laurel Gray - Why would I mod this thing?