Originally Posted by ddk632
From reading about the little tidbits of your relationship, @Billup, it reminds me of mine. Lots of arguing and making up, lots of compromise from my end. In the end it just gets old.
Some of us choose better than others. I chose poorly, but I was in love, felt she was "the one" within weeks of meeting her, started changing things, giving up dreams "for her", and ignored red flags.
As Mr. Thinka said, marriage isn't for everyone. It certainly isn't for me, and it took a failed marriage to really learn that. I also learned, and plan to teach my kids, that it's not worth to give up your dreams for anybody. If you meet the right person, and they don't like something you do or want to accomplish, they aren't the right person for you.
Now that I have kids and my single-dad family, I really don't see a point to ever get married again. I can hire a maid for the laundry, and I make a damn fine sandwich myself, let alone my awesome smoked chicken!
It is a similar situation. Actually, we haven't even spoken for two days now because of our last predicament. I am perfectly fine with it, and I hope she doesn't expect me to run back to her (which she probably will, because we should have to run to them, not them to us).
The bold part is spot on. Thought she was the one, but I have been ignoring red flags for a long time, as I'm sure she has been as well. I wanted to give it benefit of the doubt, but the amount of times I had made her cry, scream, hang up on me...., is probably more often than there are stars in the sky. Should that not be a tell tale sign that I am not right for HER.
I am 150% self efficient and don't have to rely on anyone for anything, and I've worked to hard to get where I am, to have someone stress me out more often than not because of things I do or things I say. Especially when I am putting my life on hold to move her out here so she can go to college and get a degree? Shes already said she feels "trapped" or "fucked over", then doesn't realize how that would sound if I said that to her. Its one sided.