Hi Elite M3,
I have just bought a 325d (58 plate) and have experienced exactly the same problem you describe in the OP when syncing my iPhone 5 (disconnect, reconnect...etc and phonebook doesn't download to the car).
I have even tried my son's iPhone 5, which worked fine, contacts synced etc.
I can receive calls, but can't obviously scan my phonebook to make them (can dial manually). I also get the 'ending call' popping up and the SOS light flashes.
So exactly the same symptoms.
Today I reset my phone and also my son's phone and we restored our settings to each others phone. Alas, my set up on his hardware still had the problem (so it's not the phone itself).
Have you had any luck? I'm really keen to get this sorted...