So I was able to finish my oil change today - looking back on it, it really wasn't too bad, but I forgot to get two tools which elongated the whole process. I think if you really want to, you could do this quite quick, maybe within an hour.
Here are the parts that I bought, all of which were easily obtainable and made it for a really easy change:
1. Oil change kit (self explanatory, ordered mine at getbmwparts.com)
2. HEX 6 socket (set is $10 at Sears)
3. Short socket wrench
4. Torque wrench (I had a long one from Sears).
Probably way too big but it worked. Anyone have suggestions for a smaller/shorter inexpensive torque wrench?
5. 36mm socket ($9)
Get this, it's cheap and if you do it more than once, it makes the job easier. You could use pipe wrench, but it tears up the plastic top. Plus, you won't be able to torque it right (45nm - ignore what it says on the top!)
6. Oil pan + tank combo ($17).
The funnel is not quite big enough to catch both drain holes. I had to use another medium funnel for the front hole to increase the reach to have all oil go into this container.
7. Rhino ramps ($45)
These worked, but a part of the plastic on the bottom of one broke. I think it'll still work. But hey, they are $45 - you get what you pay for.
8. Liquivac ($50).
I know some people use much more sophisticated oil vacuums (like hemivac) or whatever, but this thing kicks @ss! I use this for my motorcycles and it's perfect for sucking all the oil out of the oil filter housing and it's easy to transport afterwards - you just pop off the pump and put the cap on!
9. Medium funnel: For #5 above, and for oiling the new filter in the canister right before putting the top back on.
10. Two extra quarts of oil + two drain plugs
You don't need to get these BEFORE your oil change - I'd just pick these up the next time you drive by a BMW. You may need a little over 9 quarts to be maxed, depending on how well you drain the car, but the oil kit should get you to an acceptable level. I like to keep an extra in the car in case you need to top off later (hence by 2, depending on if you want to be maxed). You don't absolutely need the drain plugs, but they are $1.50 each - just grab two just in case and keep them in glove compartment for next time.
11. Other random things I found helpful:
Flashlight (it's dark under the car - maybe a cheapo headlight), and a couple rags (you'll get dirty).
At the end, I all my dirty oil was in the oil pan storage tank and my liquivac, which I just ran to an advanced auto parts around the corner and recycled.
Done and DONE. Car feels smoother. I might do this every 5k? Or is that too soon? What are other anal members doing?
THANKS TO EVERYONE ON THIS THREAD - THE COMMENTS AND VIDEO WERE INVALUABLE!