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      03-12-2013, 10:43 PM   #1
Radiation Joe
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Drives: '11 JB/BBe-6sp-e90
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Macungie PA

Posts: 2,749
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2011 e90 M3-Sold  [4.25]
2003 RS6 - Sold  [0.00]
2009 e90 M3 - Gone  [0.00]
2003 M3 SOLD  [0.00]
old 2002  [5.00]
An Old DCT Lag Rant

This is an old Rant I wrote when I was justifiably really pissed off at BMWNA. My 2009 e90 M3 was a lemon that they couldn't fix. This was the old DCT lag issue that is no longer present. I'm reprinting this because I'm sure the same A-holes that screwed me back then are probably still employed by BMWNA.
I admit that my problems may be worse than the majority of folks out there, but I am sure I am not alone. I'm just more vocal.

My software has been reloaded at least three times, not a patch, most of the day on the machine and I even had the DME replaced. This problem existed long before adding Dinan software. I had the DME reprogrammed multiple times before and after adding the Dinan software. If I thought there was even a remote chance that the Dinan programming was inhibiting the ability to remedy this situation I'd chuck it in a second. I had all of the adaptations cleared on my own dime because I though there might be a chance I could improve the situation. I wanted to pay to change the fluid in the God-forsaken transmission, and BMW said No.

I'm not going to argue with you over which came first, the chicken or the egg. The majority of aftermarket software worked fine before BMW found a reason to change the way the DME calculates engine torque. But this is not the issue. It was merely another fly in the ointment.

BMW does not have the technical expertise to program these cars properly and that is why we are suffering through this disaster. If they do, then my car is obviously flawed and they should have repaired it or taken it back.

And don't for a second think I'm just some hard to please whiny customer. I've always had manuals, but spent some time driving DSG equipped Audis and VWs. I liked that transmission so much I didn't hesitate to order the DCT in the BMW.

BMW clearly f****d up the engineering for this transmission. Just look at how bad it performed for anyone who tried to take one to the track during the first year of production. There was absolutely no excuse for that. Oh, lets not forget the stalling issue that brought about a half-as**d CYA reprogramming that gave us this lag issue in the first place.

MY CAR STILL LAGS FOR MULTIPLE SECONDS. NOT 500msecs, TWO F*****G SECONDS. I COMPLETELY CHANGE MY DRIVING STYLE OUT OF FEAR TO CROSS TRAFFIC IN THIS PIECE OF S**T; AND STILL I GET CAUGHT OFF GUARD OCCASIONALLY, ENDANGERING MYSELF AND OTHER DRIVERS.

I KNOW YOU M***********S AT BMWNA READ THIS S**T. WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT FROM BEHIND YOUR DESKS AND EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE. OH YEAH. YOU'RE THE SAME P**S ANTS THAT TRIED TO CONVINCE US THAT THE LAG WAS, AND I QUOTE, "NORMAL VEHICLE OPERATION". GO F**K YOURSELVES.

Last edited by Radiation Joe
; 02-21-2010 at 09:19 AM. Reason: Tone down a few words from the rant

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Dinan compliment of stuff plus PF rotors and RG63s. Enough for now.
Why, yes. I am an abrasive bastard.
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