This little article has me thinking and not paying attention in my meeting.
It reminds me of the phrase that use to perplex me “Become the change you wish to see.”
I never truly understood what that meant? I just assumed it meant that if I behaved in a civil gracious manner the universe in some strange way would be civil and gracious to me.
However I was wrong, it’s not that the universe is conscious rather it’s my subliminal messages that I broadcast about who I am.
The trigger to this thought was the notion of cognitive dissonance which is discussed in this article.
Cognitive dissonance is where our internalized views of who and what we are and who and what the world is do not match with what is going on around us. This dissonance makes us uncomfortable for it questions our internalized models of ourselves and this comfort can be either good or bad. But it’s mostly bad.
We are amazed and pleased and put in a state of wonder when we see a magician cut a woman in half.
Our internalized model of the would dictates that said woman should be dead and not smiling and there should be blood….
However the woman is smiling and there is no blood and by god she is split and all is well….and life is good because we are entertained by this momentary disruption of continuity between the internalized model vs the external reality we experience.
However say this dissonance was life, death, mating or career rather than entertainment. In this case let’s assume the ugly duckling model of dissonance. The subject was belittled as a child and told he or she lacked the moral fiber and fortitude to be an effective leader by those he or she admired or looked up to. However later in his or her life due to circumstances beyond his or her control this person in now given the opportunity of a life time to become a leader with the full support of his or her cohort.
This causes great dissonance where the persons internalized self image does not match with how other view them. And the subject pulls back and or fails at the task.
A more subtle analogy would be where a subject was belittled nonstop or in key times of their lives and their internalized model of who they are is one of low worth….and that becomes their comfort zone. As such when said person is complimented on a job well done rather than feeling good about their work the subject will feel anxious and very uncomfortable. The person who bestowed the compliment will subconsciously pick up on this agitation and may in time stop providing continued compliments so as to not cause any unusual “vibes” from the one who is complimented. Which then alleviates the subjects anxiety associated with reality not matching up with their internalized view.
The phrase “Become the change you wish to see.” As such indicates that if you wish for something to happen you must not only be open to such an event but you must also be available and comfortable when said event occurs.