This seems a bit odd and may be part of the issue. Putting that aside...
You say you're athletic...join forums that pertain to your interests and get involved with local groups. I race bicycles (road and mountain) and I have met a ton of people that share the same interest...guys and girls. I can literally ride with a group every day of the week. It's easy to get to know people with similar interests and because it's a group activity people aren't as guarded.
Car type activities are typically a sausage fest and the girls that are around are usually just supporting their partner.
Oh, and don't try so hard...
2008 AW E88--2 years on 100% E85. Too much to list..
2011 AW E90--Tune--Stage 1 Turbo--FMIC--DP
2013 Mini JCW--Tune