This seems a bit odd and may be part of the issue. Putting that aside...
You say you're athletic...join forums that pertain to your interests and get involved with local groups. I race bicycles (road and mountain) and I have met a ton of people that share the same interest...guys and girls. I can literally ride with a group every day of the week. It's easy to get to know people with similar interests and because it's a group activity people aren't as guarded.
Car type activities are typically a sausage fest and the girls that are around are usually just supporting their partner.
Oh, and don't try so hard...
2008 AW E88 Auto
Current--AA FMIC--Running 100% E85 on my flash tune--BMS CP, DCIs, & OCC--M3 FSB, RCAs, & FCAs--ER OC--Fuelab IFP, reg, & FF, and E85 CP injection--RB PCV--Whiteline RSFBs, and DBs--ER SS brakelines--Stoptech slotted rotors w/Ferodo pads--Apex Arc 8s wrapped in Michelin PSS Being installed: Wavetrac LSD -- In the works: RB turbos TBD: coilovers