Originally Posted by shah269
Like anything else in the world there are some common issues which can lead to divorce.
1) MONEY! Money issues will kill a relationship fast!
2) Family! Does your mom hate her or does her mom hate you?
3) Sex! No I’m not kidding! If you are ready to rock and roll every day and she’s a once a month girl….ha ha you are dead!
4) Predisposition to divorce…in the family, her friends or other.
I agree totally with you here shah. Every relationship that went sideways for me was relating to two of those four things. Usually money and the predispositions to poor relations. The money concerns only escalate when the rest of the relationship starts to slip. Unfortunately for us, greed is everywhere, and it is now deemed acceptable for girls to generally speaking, ride the gravy train.
#2 and #4 usually relate to each other. If the family is batshit crazy, then it can be assumed that she deems this as normal and if not, its still under the auspice of acceptable. If mom has had 3 or 4 marriages and doesnt deal with her own issues, she'll see this as normal or acceptable. if the parents are together still and they scream at each other.. she'll deem this as acceptable. It didnt make sense to me when I was 19 and my pops would ask me 'whats her mother like?' I simply thought he was being a dirty old man. FAR cry from it.
I dont think a lot of the comments on this thread have been warnings to the younger men to NOT GET MARRIED.. but more or less a look at what can go wrong and what to avoid in relationships before it ends up costing you large amounts of your hard work and chunks of your life. If you dont learn from your own mistakes so what, if you dont learn from the mistakes of others, you're an idiot!
Now to keep things positive..
I've searched for a while and worked hard to meet someone who is on par educationally, monetarily, whose parents are still together and has a family life that would be considered solid. She is also active and takes pride in her body and possessions. We are well matched sexually (another huge make or break point) My parents like her, her parents like me. We agree on most grounds and have very similar morals. The big key here.. communication
. We talk. About everything. All the time. If either of us dont like something, it's brought up swiftly and politely. We Dont belittle or bully each other. We're also both the type of people that go out of our ways to help others and make ourselves better. We both understand and know how to compromise. She knows which of her friends and peers are disasters and ignores their examples, as do I. This doesnt mean I'm going to run off and marry her tomorrow, but it does paint a rosey picture of what is out there. Oh and for the record. we DID NOT meet online, nor would I ever go back to that world. SO many disasters, hidden under a veil of cute pictures and well worded profiles. I dont recommend it. But I do recommend that you both put together a prenup when you meet the right lady.. and before considering her the right lady.. make sure you're BOTH on the same page and you understand her faults and can live with them