Originally Posted by mylydiamy
My most important advice to all is if you are having even minor issues before you have a kid that is an indication of the fact that you are in a wrong relationship. Get out of it as soon as you can.
That was my mistake. Because everything gets worse once you have a kid. Before my daughter was born I noticed that my X didn't take responsibly around the house. I was doing 95% all house work. I thought I could do that forever. But I was wrong.
After my daughter was born I continued doing most of the work. I work nights and took care of my daughter her until she was 5. Because my X didn't want to change her life style. I averaged 3 hour sleep a day for 5 years. Also I had just graduated from college when she was born. I wasted 5 years of my carrier. This would have been ok if she thanked my EVEN once for my sacrifice but she didn't....
I don't mean to discourage anyone. I just don't want others to suffer like me because we live a country where most of the laws were written over 100 ago. And these laws allows parasites like my X to live off my hard earned money for the next 25 years, maybe even more...
Good advice, although caveat it that no relationship will be absolutely perfect. It takes work on both side. I'm SO glad I'm kid free though- my break will be totally clean. I think one reason I held out so long is that deep down I always had doubts.
I'll quote myself here, in case anyone missed it the first time.
Originally Posted by carve
We DID do something wrong: we gave them all we could without setting boundaries on what is and is not acceptable behavior in the relationship, which made them lose respect for us. Next relationship, be just as giving, but make your needs clear and if she isn't willing to do her part, kick her to the curb. Pick a girl based on who she is, not who you want her to be. A partner and contributor is something I require, so now I typically only date seriously smart women who either already make decent money, or are in school for careers with that kind of potential. I'm on a few online dating sites and I make that clear right on my profile. I say I give a lot, and expect a lot in return and I'm looking for a partner- not someone looking to be taken care of. Boundaries set before we even meet. It's a nice cunt-filter.