You need to use the OEM iPod cable with the Lightning adapter.
This has been discussed before.
Originally Posted by radms
I have a 2009 M3 and just bought an iPhone 5. I have the iPhone connected via usb to the USB input (tried both the glovebox and center console ports) but will not show up. A buddy of mine has a 2011 335is which seems to work fine when I tried it on his, leading me to believe it has something to do with the iDrive software? I've read you can update it but on BMWs website it says that the update is only available on '10+ models. Read something as well about checking for an update option in "settings" which I didn't see either. Can anyone shed some light on this? Every thread I found is a bunch of people agreeing that it doesn't work for them either.
Thanks in advance,