yeah ... that's the deal unfortunately. I had a bad experience too, although it was due to (the most popular) an online dealer. This dealer came recommended by EVERYONE on this list.
Well they turned out to absolutely suck. The almost f'd up my ED - when I left for Germany I had no idea if I would actually pick up the car! That was due to the fact that they had no idea how to create a leasing contract. They got the numbers wrong again and again and again. I bet we exchanged contracts via fedex 10 times (literally) - it was that bad.
To make it worse - they totally f'd up my ED US delivery. Since I didn't live in Maryland, I had arranged with them to do a "courtesy delivery" with my local dealer; that means my local dealer generously offered to ship the car to me for free ... all the Maryland dealer had to do was fax the paperwork at the right time. Guess what? They fecked it up despite my hourly calls and their repeated assurance everything was fine. Eventually I had to pay for delivery myself just to end the problem.
Here's what I learned:
(1.) BMW, the manufacturer, has NOTHING to do with the cars we buy beyond that they make them. Repeat: NOTHING. Sure they have a vague interest, but that's it
(2.) BMW North America has a bit more to do with the cars we buy, but again not too much - they are a branding and marketing company
(3.) Dealers are, in general, independent businesses. They buy cars, then they re-sell them. BMW and BMWNA can incent and strong-arm, but the dealers are who you do business with and if they suck ... they suck
(4.) BMW FS is also separate
Conclusion ... this is why nobody solved your issue: they're all separate entities and, in general, only good will motivates them to do anything and that good will withers quickly if any of the entities has to lose money helping you solve a problem another entity - or the system - created.
It's not that BMW doesn't care necessarily ... it's that the system that is car sales in the US of A is built to not help you when you run into a problem.
So my lesson is to find a VERY reputable dealer and stick with them and pay them for their honesty and good will because if you have problem they'll be your best friend. If you haven't had a problem yet it's only luck
I'm hoping Steve Thomas BMW is my new best friend but then ... I've not done business with them yet.
BMW Motorwerks in Bloomington MN was my old best friend ... they did stuff for me out of good will, but after so long I think it was purely out of pity. Either way they went the extra 1000 miles for me; without them I would've been screwed.