Key word is incompatibility.
There is no solution. As much as some people here want to be the "more civilized culture" and deal with things "on our level" and not stoop down to their level, that shit is never going to work. They don't understand apologies as a sign of a progressed culture, they see it as a weakness. They don't care if we're aiding the poor and weak, they only see us as Infidels.
Of course that doesn't apply to all Muslims, I'm speaking only of the ever-present extremist one, who lately seem to be really commonplace and their reactions incredibly severe.
We don't need to be going into the Middle East, with its thousands of years of backwards (to us) culture, and doing things halfway. Either leave them alone (to include aid), or go in there and don't be afraid to get down on their level.