lol I hear ya bro, I'm not as anal as you (cotton swabs :O) but I do make sure I clean out the interior dailey, wipe off dust as I see it and do leather treatments every 2 months.
For exterior I started hand washing it every 2 weeks or so, depending on how dirty it gets. Don't do any underside cleaning though, don't even know how without some ramps or a lift o.O cleaning wheels is such a PITA
I'll prob be washing it more frequently in the winter (but its so COLD T_T)
Props to you though for loving your ///M so much!