Software updates aren't part of normal service, so even if newer versions change things, chances are you won't get them. Dealers only install software updates for free if a newer version is mentioned in a TSB as fixing a problem that you complain about. Otherwise, some dealers will do it if you pay, and others apparently won't do it even then because they're worried about bricking your car during an update and potentially having to replace a module, which they wouldn't pay for and which they obviously expect you would not to be willing to pay for.
And as others have said, the ring volume can be lowered. You just have to tweak the volume knob while the ring is happening; I don't think there's a volume slider in a menu anywhere just for the ring. Same goes for the volume of the navigation voice guidance.
The USB software update is essentially a "driver" update that mostly fixed Bluetooth connectivity issues with certain phones. I've talked to people who have BMW Live enabled and it improved tethering connectivity there.