In my experience, dealerships will want a valid reason to take your car in for service. Only as part of this work will the tech check to make sure your software is up to date. Updating our software is a long and finicky process, and there isn't incentive for the tech to do it otherwise.
When I brought my car in for service a couple of years ago, they fried my instrument cluster when they attempted to update my software. The piece was on national back order, and as a result, the dealership had to lend me a loaner for nearly a month and pay off that month's car payment on my behalf.
So it's understandable why your dealership is being a little resistant.
'09 E92 M3: Space Gray, Black, Carbon Leather | ZTP 2MK ZPP 2MT 6FL | link 1 / link 2
Mods: M Performance exhaust | ZCP retrofit | Euro airbox | GTS DCT flash | JPN 240 ECU flash | Euro LCI taillights | CRT lip | OEM alarm retrofit | Space Gray bumper plugs | BMW Performance: Mk. II spoiler / Mk. II non-electronic steering wheel / mirror caps / front grilles / side gills / intake louvers / emblem