Originally Posted by FwdFtl
Any happily married men that can chime in? I've read nothing but negative views about marriage based on OP's situation, there has to be some benefits right?
I don't think it'll do the OP any good, but married men tend to live longer, have cheaper insurance (as a consequence, I think), and generally do less stuff that is risky, and generally less stress.
I think having kids counteracts alot of that :-)
Anytime you share your live with another person, be it a roommate, coworker, spouse, child, etc... you have to deal with those other people. You can choose to spend that time with people that are more or less pleasant to deal with (except you don't quite get to choose your children's personality...it tends to be a mix of you and your mate's and the people that are around your children, sometimes better, sometimes worse), and you can choose how to handle their behavior (unyielding, pushover, or somewhere in the middle).
I think you choose your battles, and if you find yourself always having unpleasant interactions with others, either in general or with specific people...maybe you should look in the mirror once in a while to figure out why.
No relationship stays unchanged with time. People change, especially kids... sometimes this change makes things better, sometimes worse. Women's personalities can change alot after having children...some parts for the better, some parts for the worse...some from hormones, some from the new situations they're dealing with.
There are no certainties in life, and I think you can either roll with the punches and get the best you can out of life, or you can be bitter about setbacks and let them eat you up.
Also, most good luck comes from preparation. If you go into marriage prepared for the worst and informed about what your spouse believes and expects, you'll probably have better luck in the long run than if you go into it on a whim.
My wife and I have been through really good and really bad times..with and without (and in between) kids. The rollercoaster isn't over yet. I'm sure there are higher highs and lower lows ahead, and the only things that are certain are death and taxes, but that's life. You can sit on the sidelines or you can jump in... just look first or don't complain about what you hit. You won't see everything bad that's coming, but that's life too.
I wish you all the best of luck this week, and long lives full of good things.