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      09-02-2011, 09:23 AM   #154

Drives: 2008 335i e93 convertible
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: New Jersey

iTrader: (1)

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I want to thank everybody for your support and advice.

Yesterday I talked to anther lawyer (there goes another $400 but it is nothing compared to what I am about to lose ).

He told me pretty much the same things that other lawyers said. The laws are designed to make sure that both parties will continue to have equal (or the same as before the divorce) life style after divorce. So if you make $200K and your wife makes $50K (or potentially can make $50K), laws takes away $50-75K from you and gives it to your wife. This is pretty much how it works if your marriage is over 10 years. And you continue forking her money forever unless either you or she dies or she remarries (who would want to remarry and lose easy money??). The only way for me to avoid paying her alimony if I offer her large amount of money. But lawyer said she would not accept anything less than $300,000 once she consults a lawyer.

We were very close to divorce about 4 years ago. At that time she used to make 3 times more and I used to make half of what I make now. If we had divorced at that time, I could have walked away without any alimony obligation. I must have banged my had against the wall at least 50 times after I found out this the other day.

So guys, please be careful. It is impossible to realize the seriousness and consequences of divorce until you are in it. You can lose your lifetime achievements. It can turn your life upside down.

I am sure I am not the only person in this situation and will not be the last one. Knowing this helps me a bit. I am trying very hard to convince my self to accept the situation as it is, and believe that better and happier days are ahead.

One again thanks for your support.