I am not a lawyer and have not been in this situation so I have not spent hours investigating options, but these are a few things that came to my mind. Also want to say I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. I truly do not understand why courts do not use common sense when delegating alimony.
If you can get her lazy ass out of the house for a few days I would install wireless video / audio recording in every room (to multiple backups, including to places not in your home via the intro-net) to show how much of a loon she is. Get verbal abuse on camera and if you can instigate it, try to get her physically abusing you.
Is your wife having a relationship with someone else? Having intercourse? If so, would it not help you to have proof of this relationship and proof of intercourse if the guy you hire to follow her around could pull it off?
If those two don't pan out...
How long would it take you to pay off your house?
Is your name on her car note?
Is your name on any other significant assets she uses?
I read the thread, but can't remember, do your kids prefer you or her?
If you don't have a checking account with just your name on it, get one, and have all future paychecks sent there. Better yet get paid the old fashion way, with a check, and go cash it.
Don't divorce, rent anther house, move your kids in with you, start life over without the crazy wife, but still be married. Cut off utilities/internet/cable to the house she lives in and let her fend for herself.
Depending on the amount owed on her vehicle, if your name is on it, pay it off, take it off of your insurance.
Do this with any other assets you are tied to her with and start a new life away from her without having to pay her. Looks to me like it would be cheaper and less of a headache.
Also, if she's getting pounded by Paco at this time, I see now reason why you can't get your dick wet every once in a while, or even have a new relationship.
Also, right now transfer/liquidate as many assets as you can and hide the cash. Bernanke's printing so many of 'em they're practically untraceable.