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      08-31-2011, 04:28 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by mylydiamy View Post
Hello all,

I finally decided to end my 19 years of unhappy marriage (shoud have done it long time ago but it is too late for that). Yesterday I talked to a divorce lawyer ($400 for 1 hour consultation ).

A few words about my situation: I am 42 years old. I have a 14 years old daughter. My wife lost her decent paying job 2 years ago, and now making almost 1/3 of what she used to make. Although she could make similar amount of money that she used to but she is too lazy to take a job which would require longer commute. I make about 6 times more than she does. The lawyer told me I have to pay PERMANENT alimony around $3500 and $1200 child support (join legal custody, but my wife would have physical custody). This is like $56K a year as long as she is not remarried. It is like a brand new base M3 every year.

I was hoping 2-3K a month but for maybe 3-5 years, never thought about lifetime.

I worked my ass off to get to where I am while she was parting with her friends. Financially she will be better in situation than me if I can not do anything about it. I am so pissed off that I am even thinking about quitting my job (computer programmer) and just live on my savings for a while so that she couldn’t enjoy my money. I know this sound stupid but I am so pissed of that I am afraid I will not be able to use my logic. Just thinking about she is enjoying my hard earned money with her future boyfriend is enough to make me go insane . Now I understand why people’s life go upside down after divorce.

Anyone can give me any advice in order to reduce the amount or length of the alimony?

I just went through a similar situation last year myself. Here is what I did:

I hired a top of the line lawyer (For the Denver area anyways) that specialized in fathers rights. Paid him 350hr.

I make just about 100k myself and my ex is on welfare so I thought I was going to be paying out of the ass however, I wanted physical custody and we were only married for 5 years so that helped me.

Every time I went to court my lawyer was already there well before me smooth talking the judge.

I knew my ex smoked pot so I asked the court to drug test her and she failed. Right then and there they awarded me primary physical custody.

Since I would be the primary parent the courts gave me the option to seek child support from my ex but I waived it. Now, I pay ZERO to my ex.

I know there are allot of other factors that differentiate my story from yours but still, I thought it might help. I guess the point of me telling you this is that the lawyer can make all the difference. You dont need the most expensive lawyer just one who specializes in this stuff.

I dont think you are going to get out of the alimony but forever is a long time. Usually alimony is paid for half of the length of the marriage. Child support should be greatly reduced if you can keep your daughter more often then not.